(to set up your call in to RANT back at PAT, Email the AzFL
at 2bad4u! If it's good we will get you on
the air or online or both. Remember the show streams
worldwide on the internet....Standing Pat 2008
The words of the football world as seen from the 3 point stance of an offensive lineman
and writer.
Yes, Patrick Montgomery is his name and destroying defenders is his game. One
way or another he will take them down, then write about it for everyone to see.
Join us each week as Patrick posts his picks and picks on his pals.
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Well, you have
always wanted to talk to Pat, right! Let him know what you think of what he
says! Of course you have...... You will get your chance LIVE on the AIR each
Saturday Night on our weekly broadcasts. Tune in to our 2 hour show on 1010 AM
and 1280 AM and let Pat have it...
(to set up your call in to RANT back at PAT, Email the AzFL
at 2bad4u! If it's good we will get you on
the air or online or both. Remember the show streams
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Week 14 Finals - Saturday, April 19th 2008
It is here the final game, hello boys and girls and welcome to Championship
weekend. I must first congratulate
the two winners from last week the Chandler Cowboys and the Southwest Stampede.
Next, I need to shout out to last week’s losers the Hitmen and the
Gladiators. G-men you guys played
off the hook dudes. That was one of
the most exciting games I can remember.
Much props to every person associated with the Gladiators that was a
great game. Also to the men of
# 1
All year long the air show that is the Stampede has been putting up sick passing numbers. And they have been doing enough on defense to get the job done. With that being said the Stampede have gone through a transformation of sorts, they found a running game and it has made them even better. Before you just had to sit back in a Nickel defense and have Gene only throw for 300 yards on you instead of 400. But now you have to worry about the run and that is why they have opened it up on every team they have faced in the playoffs. I said it all year that this Stampede team is going to be a force and they have lived up to that all year long and they are getting stronger week after week.
Match Up: Quarterbacks-Both teams have multiple weapons to choose from starting with their Quarterbacks, Gene and Brad. Both these guys are the best the league has to offer and they both run their huddles well. The difference maker between them and the others in the league in composure. Neither gets rattled and both are fantastic leaders. Edge: Tie/Tie
Running backs- The Cowboys feature the best 1-2 punch in the league with Mike Scott and Freddie Limpkin. Scott is the bull in the China Shop and Limpkin is the speed on the edge. Both run downhill and at 110% every time they touch the ball. E. J. Hooks has given the Stampede the ground threat they have been lacking. Now they can be two-dimensional and they can strike from the air and the ground. Edge-Cowboys
Wide Receivers- Cowboys in my opinoin have the two best in the league in Julius Record and Cory Smith. I think Julius might be the fastest man in the AzFL and he has sweet moves once he gets the ball and Kory is a huge target and all the Cowboy receivers block well. Now don’t get me wrong the Stampede have a great set of receivers in Jared Schmiege and Aaron Gentry. You better have two good corners to cover these two. Edge-Cowboys
O-Line- It is no secret that the Stampede line has had a few bumps in the road the last few games but they had a great game against a nasty Hitmen team. This is a good group and they are learning to play to their strength. If I had to start a team and I could pick any players that I want I would first pick me (stop it Jack) them I would take without hesitation the Molina brothers Aaron and David. Now I know the Punisher have a great line up and down it put these guys are the best. Edge-Cowboys
Defenses for both teams have been consistent this year. The Cowboys are flat out nasty and the Stampede is always moving forward. Neither give up ground and they are fast everywhere. The Cowboys might have the best D-lineman in the league in Arjay Ratliff. He is big, strong and scary. On the other side they had Mr. Watson himself. He is a crafty vet (that means he will do ANYTHING to get by you). The Stampede has a great pair of their own in Chaca Rojo and Chris Delguidice. Edge –Cowboys
Linebackers-The Stampede have sacrificed size for speed and it has worked for them. This well help them in the passing game but it could be a disadvantage for them. The Cowboys are loaded starting in the middle with Miles Posz. He is very good. Next to him is a guy I have played against for years and we have bumped heads a ton so I know what he can do and he is great and that is Ryan Salazar. Edge-Cowboys
Secondary-Speed, speed and more speed is that both teams bring. But the great equalizer is the tall man in the middle Larry Cain. It is like trying to throw over a light post. Edge-Cowboys
Special Teams-For the Stampede they have a good leg in Mr. Schmiege. The Cowboys have the veteran of veterans Steve Fish. He has been here before and knows what it is all about. Edge-Cowboys
Prediction: Now I know you are saying to yourself that I have picked the Cowboys in most categories and that is true. Stampede don’t get me wrong if you won this game I would not be surprised at all. You have a great team and even though I didn’t get the St. Paddy’s day card I will not hold that against you. This is not going to be a blow out. The main factor here is size and experience. True the Cowboys have not been here before but they have lost more playoff games then you have been in. I think that is will be a great and exiting game but when you have 6’1” Receivers running with 5’ 10” Corners the edge goes to the Receiver. But the big difference it upfront. The Cowboys O-line can reach the second level with power and you do have an undersized Linebacker core. I think the Cowboys don’t need to throw all game they will be able to control the line of scrimmage and run between the Tackles. On defense the Cowboys are bigger and faster and unless the Stampede can make the line adjustments on the fly, The Magic Man might be disappearing under a sea of blue jerseys (I heard you sigh Jack it was funny). I think the Cowboys will not under estimate the Stampede and they will come out fired up and ready. They have been waiting for 3 years now and they finally made it here and I don’t think they will let this opportunity side by. Cowboys 24 Stampede 17
Well gang that is what I think. Remember to listen to the radio show during and after the game on KXXT 1010 AM for all your post game interviews and comments of the big game. Also as you heard it last week Sean Enna was given permission by his lovely wife to play in this year North/South Classic. I have it on tape so we will see if he is wreaking havoc on May 10th. Have a great week and I will see you all at the game. Much Love, Pat
Week Thirteen Semi Finals - Saturday, April 12th 2008
Then there were four???
Ok I must admit that I was very surprised to find out from my super
secret hide out in Maryland that not only that the Predators still have a hard
time in the playoffs but that the road to the championship is not running
through Peoria. Someone needs to
call ADOT (Arizona Department of Transportation) and tell them to stop slinging
tar and asphalt in
# 1 Cowboys vs. # 5
Gladiators 4:00 T-Bird HS
I had left the Gladiators for dead and for that, I apologize. This is a veteran team with a ton of playoff games under their belts and I did forget that Predators have a worse playoff record then I have an All Star game record. Now, however it is time for a little dose of reality and if the G-men cannot get their offence going they are not only going to lose this game but it will be bad. Coach LaBarbera might get the title of Magic Man away from Gene; because that was a huge rabbit, he pulled out of his hat last weekend.
Prediction:
The Cowboys are going to win.
It is that simple and easy. They
match up man for man upfront at every position.
They have an offence that can get it done all over the field and with the
Gladiators best cover corner playing quarterback; I do not think they can hang.
However, there is one factor here that can be a wild card.
Respect!!! Will the Cowboys
realize that it is earned and just worry about football or will they keep
beating their chest demanding it and have the same fate as the Punisher,
golfing??? Cowboys 35 Gladiators 14
# 2 Stampede vs. # 6
Hitmen 6:30 T-Bird HS
I have to admit that Stampede look very unbeatable right now.
They went into last weeks game knowing they were going to be the better
team and that they will win the game but they didn’t underestimate there
opponent and blasted the Cavaliers like they should have.
When you are a top team you really don’t have to worry about making the
adjustment to the other team they must adjust to you and it looks like that
Cavaliers didn’t make the correct adjustment because that was not pretty.
Now however, the Stampede has a new challenge and this Hitmen team is not
the Cavaliers. I said it on the
radio show last week that a team is lucky if they have one great player to go
to, but the Stampede has three. Gene
is one of the best quarterbacks ever in the AzFL and when he has Gentry and
Schmiege to get the ball to you will put up a ton of points.
I have said it before and I will say it again that Jay is the best coach in the land and was robbed last year for Coach of the Year. The good news is I still get a vote and guess whom I voted for this year??? “The envelope please. This years vote goes to (drum roll), JACK (thunderous applause)!!!” We all know that if it were not for the Grand Puba Jay would only be a good coach instead of the coaching machine that he has become. Congratulations Jack from all of us at the Standing Pat office. Anyway the men from Antarctica found away to stop the roadwork in its tracks. Being solid on defense and having a balanced offense is a good problem to have and the Hitmen are infected bad.
Prediction:
It looks like the Hitmen are back on track and they have gotten healthy
in a hurry and at a great time because they need all the guys this week.
Last week they gave up size and overcame that but now, they have a
different problem and that is speed.
The Hitmen have some but the Stampede has the rest of it.
If the Hitmen can get to Gene and not allow him to find his guys down
field they will win. However, the
Stampede is playing some great football right now and they have all the tools to
go all the way. Stampede 21 Hitmen
17
Remember during the game and after from 8-10 PM tune to
1010 AM to listen to the post game talk from the day’s games featuring the best
color man in radio Sean Enna. He has
a great radio voice doesn’t he? In
fact I have an email form a Sean fan that I can share with you all, the email
reads, “Dear Standing Pat, I listen to your radio show every Saturday and love
all of it. However, I really enjoy
listening to Sean Enna. He is great
and has fantastic hair. Is there a
chance that I can have a date with him?
Please let me know. Love,
Much love to all, Pat
Week Twelve - Saturday, April 5th 2008
Good afternoon and welcome to Week # 1 of the payoffs (applause)!!! To the Dragons, Head Hunters and the Desert Demons it sucks to be you, oh wait I am one of them dang!!! Oh well I guess it will be nice to see how the other half lives, NOT!!! Anyway it is an exciting time of the year and I think it is going to be a very exciting playoffs. But before we get to the games I have a little unfinished business like, Demons, dudes what are you thinking, you picked the wrong time to play bad. I don’t get it, you all but controlled you own destiny because we knew the Cavaliers and the Raiders were not going to win and poof you blow it. Well maybe next year Demons, maybe next year. Oh and Head Hunters you need to find a team in your own country to make your rivals!!! All you did by punking the Demons was create a rival and hurt your draft positioning. Way to kill another teams dream!!! Dragons it has been a hard road but a good one, if I had to lose every game with someone I am glad it was with you guys. Now let’s not make this a habit ok??? Maybe mix in at the very least a win in an inter-squad scrimmage game or something??? Sounds like a long recruiting season for a few. Ok with that said lets get on with the games…
# 1 Chandler Cowboys
vs. # 8 Phoenix Raiders 9:00 T-Bird HS
“Beep,beep,beep,beep”!!! That is the sound things make when they back up or in this case into something and that is what the Raiders did, back into the playoffs. Now email terrorist; back away form the email you know I am right and if I could not make the playoffs I am glad it was you guys!!! See kids, this is a team that has not won a ton of games and last year hit rock bottom. Now they have put together a nice base of players and with the good ownership they have can enjoy their one playoff game.
Prediction:
Remember madness is a dark and unpredictable mind set lending itself to
destruction, either for or against.
Earning respect at the level of the Cowboys is the fuel driving this out of
control train. This is not going to
be pretty. I really think the
Cowboys feel they are not feeling the love that they earned this year and they
maybe correct. Just how much love
they are not feeling will translate into the score.
Cowboys 48 Raiders 7 (I don’t think they
are feeling it).
# 4 Tempe Predators
vs. # 5 Scottsdale Gladiators 11:30 T-Bird
Gladiators, dude how is it going??? I hope very well. I heard the wind down there was whipping like crazy!!! Sucks to be you guys but listen I have been all over this team all year and like James said Monday night they have lost to the top 4 teams and they have beaten everyone else. I wish this team would pull it off but I don’t see how they could. I will say it was a very nice win last week and they needed it. Now what they need to do is have the best week of practice they can and then need to have some trust in their system. I don’t think they have a ton of faith and it hurts them.
Prediction: I want the Gladiators to win because like everyone knows I played with most of them back in the day and I would love to wear my G-man tee shirt but I never got it (James). The bottom line here is the Predators are the best Middle Class team and with all of their guys sprung from that prison in Mexico they should be able to do what they want. Predators 24 Gladiators 14
# 2 S. W. Stampede vs.
# 7 Sierra Vista Cavaliers 2:00 T-Bird
First off, let’s say that I am friends with Craig and Gene and I respect
everything they have done over the last two years and it would be my pleasure to
play for them and the Stampede organization.
With that said, Stampede you guys are in very serious trouble.
Here is the way I see it and follow me here, you guys run the same
offence as the Raiders and I know you practice twice a week and you defense has
to play against that type of offence in practice.
With that said you have twice the talent and speed and the Raiders and
you guys let them stay in a game that you needed to make a statement.
All I have heard form Punisher guys and Cowboys are how you have lost a little and it looks like you have. You need to be the team that puts up 300 yards passing against EVERYONE not 250 or so yards on the ground. Now that was a nice adjustment but as far as I can tell it was the ONLY adjustment you have made all year. Here I will help you guys with this one because it is nothing but love!!! Your O-line will not be able to block the Punishers D-line next week Big on Big. You must put a zone blocking scheme in because you need to get the Magic Man some time. Now I walk the walk and talk the talk for a large cash fee I will come out to the Stampede practice and implement this for you. It is the least I can do. Think about it Stampede you need to do something and one more thing now is not the time to think about the Punishers next week, they will be there waiting for you.
Eric I must say it was a lot of fun watching your team play this year. They are a gritty bunch and play every snap as it is was their last. Now I need to make a shout out # 32 Tristan Menefee. Now I have been known from time to time to give out a nickname or 400 and he is getting two. The first one is “Mr.” because I have nothing but respect for him. The second is “Nightmare”, because that is what he is to opposing linemen. The Cavaliers make the playoff year in and year out and that is a testament to the ownership. The bad thing is they always seem to get the # 1 or # 2 seed ever year but at least they are there.
Prediction: The Stampede are going to win this game but they need to work some stuff out because next week they have to put it together against the Punishers if they want another shot at the Cowboys. Remember Stampede your work of the week is “Zone Blocking”. Ok it is two words but who is counting? Stampede 48 Cavaliers 10
# 3 Peoria Punishers
vs. # 6 Flagstaff Hitmen 4:30 T-Bird
Well so far the road running through Peoria to the Championship has have a
few bumps and twist and turns but it is still running, and running, and running!
See the reference here Punishers.
I was on your sideline and it occurred to me that you might have one of
the best O-lines I have ever seen.
This group can push a pile like plowing a corn field with napalm (a number of
flammable
liquids used in
warfare, often jellied
gasoline).
So here I am watching this unfold and then for some reason you started
throwing the ball. Now if you count
interceptions as completions then you did great.
This team reminds me of a team that did the same thing.
They had the best O-line in the AzFL with a NFL quality Running back
(Sean Thomas) and they wanted to throw every down and it cost them the
Championship. Anyone know what team
I am talking about??? Ask Travis,
me, Dave, Mr. Austin, Mr. Autry actually most of the Gladiators played on this
team. If you guessed the 2004
Villains you would be correct. So
stick with what you know. I you have
this over whelming feeling to put the ball in the air.
DON’T!!! STOP!!! Set that passing playbook on the ground and walk back
very slow with no sudden movements!!!
Hitmen way to keep the Bye Week under 300!!! I hear that the time off will get some of your skill guys back on the field just in time. That is very good because you are going to need them in this game. Jay is once again my Coach of the Year. He should have been last year also but I only get 1 vote even though the Republican Party considers me a Super Delegate (no Jack not because of my size but I see you working). This team needs to be well balanced and mix it up if they are going to have a chance. They do everything well but they need to do everything great this week and I think they have the right coach to make that happen.
Prediction: I was very impressed with the Punishers last weekend. The lines on both sides of the ball dominated and they didn’t have the whole team there. Don’t get me wrong the Hitmen should have won in week 1 against them but this is like week 47 or something. I usually would go with control (Hitmen) vs. chaos (Punishers) but the Punishers really impressed me last weekend and I think they are peaking at the correct time. Punishers 24 Hitmen 14
There you have it all that is worth the read. Girls this is your last chance for the date with Sky (he is a hippie). Take care boys and girls I look forward to see all of you this week at the games.
Love to all, Pat
Week Eleven - Saturday, March 29th 2008
We are here after 10 weeks the end of the season is upon
us. That is great news to most and
bad for some (Dragons, Head Hunters and 1 mystery team to be named later).
Now we get to see some great games that really count because every game
this week has a playoff implication.
Last week had some great games if you didn’t get to see them.
The Gladiators manned up and showed they might be ready for a playoff run
while the Head Hunters tank ran short.
Now I know it was 28-6 but you got your monies worth in the
Raiders/Dragons game because you got two games for the price of one.
Raiders ripped off 28 points in the first quarter or so then the Dragons
woke up and stone cold stopped the Raiders and even put a score of their own up.
I even heard the Hitmen were leading the Cowboys last into the 4th
quarter up in
Predators are carpet bagging (Republicans in the South who had allegedly arrived with all of their worldly possessions stuffed into a carpetbag, ready to loot and plunder the defeated South) big time. They have lied in the weeds and week after week quietly knocked off team after team and they might be playing the best football of anyone right now. Very dangerous they are right now and they could do very well in the playoffs.
Prediction:
I like the size of the Punishers but there are a couple of things that
concern me. First off, do they have
a starting QB yet or is the revolving QB door still open, remember dudes I can
hand the ball off all game if you need me to!!!
Second they have not won a game that mattered yet.
They lost to the Cowboys and the Stampede when they needed wins.
In fact going back to last year they didn’t win a game that mattered
either. However with all that said I
am going to go with them. They are
still a very hard team to play and they make you adjust to them.
Punishers 14 Predators 10
Raiders vs. Stampede
11:30 T-Bird HS
The Stampede is hard to write about because they do the same thing every game. “Geneo drops back has Schmiege open down the sidelines, he caught it, TTTTTOOOOOUUUUCCCHHHHH DDDDOOOOWWWNNN STAMPEDE”!!!
Prediction: The Stampede are playing for
the # 1 seed and they won’t know if they Cowboys have lost because they play the
last game of the day so the Stampede need to win.
Sorry Raiders but you guys are going to be the Head Hunters biggest fans
this weekend!!!
Stampede 35 Raiders 14
Cowboys vs. Dragons
2:00 T-Bird
Ok I got the R2-D2 robot for Christmas from my brother and it is very cool. So do you remember that part in Episode IV (A New Hope) when Obi Wan and Luke are chillin' at Kenobi’s crib and Luke starts to tell Obi Wan about that message he found but he couldn’t get the tin can to play the whole message??? Well it was a plea for help, I have put a message in my R2 unit and sent it over to my friend and yours Peacock because he is the Dragons only hope. “Help us Eric Peacock you are our only hope”!!! The only way the Dragons win is if Peacock comes out to play this weekend, so if you see him tell him he needs to play. My logic is simple, every time Peacock and I are on the field together we have beaten the Cowboys, every time there is only one of us it is a loss. So Peacockabbacca get your tail out to the game so we can beat those Darth Cowboys.
Prediction:
The Dragons match up with the Cowboys D-line and until the Dragons get
tired they will match up against the Cowboys O-line.
After that it will not be pretty but I am going to call my shot and say
the Dragons put up some points on the Cowboys.
Cowboys 42 Dragons 7
Cavaliers vs.
Gladiators 12:00 at North Mexico
Ok I have been very hard on the Gladiators over the last few weeks and to be honest I have been right on with my assessments, they have played lackluster football and have not looked good at all. That was until 9:00 last Saturday morning. Now I am not ready to jump the bandwagon yet but I had a great conversation with Benny # 7 and Tavares # 4 (both of them are great players and class guys) and they had that look like things are turning around and I think they have.
Prediction:
Cavaliers are at home so that is an automatic win, I do not think so.
If the Gladiators get most of their team down
Desert Demons vs.
Head Hunters 2:30 at North Mexico
Hunters, dudes what happened last weekend??? I finally pick you to win a game and you play yourself right out of playoff contention. I don’t get it but your team will be better next year so don’t worry everything will be fine.
Prediction:
After shooting themselves in the playoff foot last week I am not inclined
to take the Head Hunters here. I
think the Demons know what they need to do and they should be able to get past a
demoralized Head Hunters team. Demons 27
Head Hunters 14
There it is boys and girls everything you need to know. I would like to congratulate all the playoff teams and that includes the Cavaliers and the Demons (sorry Raiders), and let the Raiders, Head Hunters and Dragons know that the recruiting season starts the following Sunday, don’t mess it up.
Now on to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”, I don’t understand what the problem is. I offered to pay and go on the date with that one lucky girl and still no love for my man!!! I guess I am going to have to get desperate so here it is, if a girl between the age of 18 and catatonic goes out with my man Skylight not only will you get your date paid for by me, Standing Pat you can double with me and my wife Standing Sonja but I will throw in also a separate date with the one and only, Peacockabacca!!! Now, now, easy girls I know a date with the Crazy Wookie himself, “ Pecockabacca (applause)”!!! That is right I have arranged a date for a special lady with Peacockabacca. This is once in a life time event so don’t miss out get to the booth today. Just a reminder the time to get your Banquet stubs and your place in the North/South Classic is running out, go to the website for all the information.
Have a great week and I will see you at the games! Much love to all!!! Pat
Week Ten - Saturday, March 22nd 2008
Boys and girls welcome to Week # 10 in the AzFL.
I hope that you are having a good week and that you had a great and safe
Saint Paddy’s day. I know I did, I
stayed at home all day looking at my computer waiting all day and half the
night, waiting, hoping for hours that I would be oh so lucky enough to have my
email graced with that very special Saint Patrick’s day card from the one, the
only, Mr. Valentine himself, Craig Brown.
But for some strange reason I didn’t not receive my card on Monday so I
guess either it didn’t make it to me or I am off the card list.
I hope it is the former. Well
last weekend was very interesting, other then the Cowboys v G-Men contest, every
game in Phoenix was settled in the last 2 or 3 minutes of the game.
And down in
Head Hunters vs.
Gladiators 9:00 T-Bird
What can you say about the Hunters now?
Fischer Football is making a complete turnaround or is he?
I think that maybe Mr. Fischer is smarter then we think!!!
See what if his strategy was to rest his starters all year so they would
be fresh for the playoffs? Very
diabolical of him isn’t it? Not a
bad way to go and it is working.
This team has turned it around and looks good doing it.
Ok, Gladiators don’t get to down on yourselves in losing to the Cowboys by 30. You were not going to win the game and you are still in the playoffs. Now the problem is you are slipping fast and right now are looking at a game with the Punishers if the season would end today!
Prediction:
Hunters are looking real good and the Gladiators are not.
Right now the Hunters are 1 point out of a playoff birth and could find
themselves in a good spot if they win their last two.
I think they are rolling at the right time and that is not good news for
the G-men. They have lost it and I
don’t think they will find it anytime soon.
Head Hunters 17 Gladiators 10
Dragon Flies vs.
Raiders 11:30 T-Bird
AJ
Seneca
Aaron
James
Jeremy
Travis
Dave
Frankie
Juan
Steve
The great thing was # 71 James Bond getting his first TD of the year. What a great game it was to play in.
Ok Raiders let me help you out here. There are 48 minutes in a football game in the AzFL. Now I know you have on all the gear and you are hot and tired and sweaty and so on but if you have a 2 TD lead with 2 minutes left in the GAME you need to close it out. Now I didn’t get to see the game but dudes let me put it to you this way. You are in the number 9 spot right now and next week you lose to the Stampede and you lose the tie breaker to the Cavaliers so that leaves 1 spot left for you. It doesn’t look good!
Prediction:
The Raiders are going to win this game flat out!!!
They have a great passing game and the Flies don’t have a great pass
defense. The Flies will have the
toughest 11 dudes on the field (ask the Cavaliers) and will be hitting this
weekend. Raiders I think last week
killed you guys but you still have a chance to make it. Raiders 27 Flies 10
Stampede vs. Demons
2:00 PM T-Bird
Ok even if I didn’t get the card from Craig I still cant find any
fault in this team. They have had
some trouble keeping the Magic Man on his feet and they really need to fix that
by the time they get to the Championship game because the Cowboys are going to
be coming.
A Bye Week in week # 9 was just what the Demons needed. To have two weeks to prepare for the Stampede will ensure they only lose by 14. The Demons are holding onto the # 8 playoff spot like a mother hen and they know that in order to get blasted by the Cowboys in the first round they need to win one more game. I hope they realize this is not the game they need to focus on; but we will find out Saturday.
Prediction:
Both teams love to put the ball in the air.
The bad news for the Demons is the Stampede does it better.
The Demons will try to throw 100 passes to the TE but the Stampede is too
fast and this could go bad in a hurry.
Predators vs.
Cavaliers 4:30 T-Bird
What can I say? The game plan
worked. This is a lesson in
maximizing your effort. See kidos
you conserve your energy for 46 minutes and them you flip the switch and snatch
victory from the other team. What a
great game plan.
I must say that in my 14 years in the AzFL I have not seen a team with more class then the Cavaliers. They could have just flat out played dirty and worked the Flies but that is not at all what happened. I tell you what every time a Fly hit the ground after a play there was a Cavalier there to help pick him up, EVERY TIME!!! I really believe that the AzFL should have ALL the players in the league go to a seminar given by the Cavaliers on sportsmanship. Eric and Dee should be very proud of the character of their team.
Prediction:
The Predators are primed and read for the playoffs. They could find
themselves in a better seeding so I don’t think they are going to mail this game
in. I do think the Cavaliers have
done enough to make to the dance but they are just over matched in this game.
Predators 17 Cavaliers 7
Hitmen vs. Cowboys
at Some unknown time (2pm) in Antarctica
“This is my GAME of the WEEK”
The latest Hunters victim is this very same Hitmen team.
They are still very dangerous and playing at home will give them a better
player turnout but ever since they lost their starting Running back it has been
down hill.
Well it looks like the messing around in
Prediction:
I think this is the time of the year that teams start to
make statements.
Like the Cowboys.
They are not going to limp into the playoff, they want
the whole world to see that they are the best team.
They also need to win their last two games or they will
fall to # 2 thanks to the Demons!
Cowboys 31 Hitmen 14
There it is gang, all you need to know about this weeks games. Just some fun facts before we go:
Two weeks after the Championship game is the North/South Classic (sorry South I am on your side again).
“Skyrockets in flight afternoon delight”, still has not gotten a date. But remember girls now if you are the first to go up to him not only will I pay for your date but you will get the chance to double date with Mr. and Mrs. Standing Pat. Yes some girls dreams will come true, a double date with the Standing Pat family. Remember be the first to the booth and ask for Skychef and all of this shall be yours.
Have a great week and I will see you at the games.
Much love, Pat
Week Nine - Saturday, March 15th 2008
There has been a disturbance in the Force. Yes my friends the unthinkable has happened. No it was not the Stampede figuring out a way to win in the snow. Nor was it the Demons talking the Cowboys into overtime, it was the Head Hunters (official name change even though Fisher said don’t) waxing the Flies. Dudes it was bad but there was some good out of it at least for me. I found out that I am almost as fast as Roach!!! Dude I almost had you bro maybe next time mix in a second gear or something because my fat tail (family column) should not be that close to you. Oh and # 95 sorry about the head butt dude I didn’t mean to do it (well not as hard as I did). Yes the Hunters are back and have a strangle hold on the # 10 spot. Now I wasn’t going to mention it but; follow me here so you are the Punishers and you lose your stating QB (he is one of the best ever in the league in my opinion) and you skate by the Raiders, so then you play the Cavaliers and you decide that you really wanted a third guy to play QB so you get your new starting QB to leave the game and then you drop 40 on the Cavaliers. That is a very unconventional game plan but it worked. Ok so we have a ton of stuff happening so let’s get on to the games…
I have yet to see the film, but I don't think you were CLOSE to getting me. It
seemed like you were way deep in my backfield though and you really messed up my
boot left. I had been working on it all week (in business casual attire mind you
- since i dont dress out anymore) and then you got in my way and probably ruined
what was going to be my favorite play of all time - a left-handed bootleg pass
to my brother for a touchdown. Oh well, I have lots of other fun memories from
that game including:
(1) my penalty for offsides on a kickoff (a lifetime first)
(2) my roughing the passer penalty (by the way, way to protect your boy haha) (a
lifetime first)
Oh and you had to be happy for us getting IRISH - Ronan Kelly into the end zone
on that two-point conversion/fake extra point. He should be interviewed for the
radio station
about it.
Stampede vs.
Punishers 9:00 AM at T-Bird
“Ok so here is the situation, my parents went away on a
week’s vacation and they left the keys to the brand new Porsche”!!!
Dudes I am so Old School!!!
No there is a new development in the AzFL, we have a new # 1 and it is the
Punishers (Applause)!!! Yes with
that can they opened on the Cavaliers and the Cowboys complete and total
meltdown (we will get to that in a second) the Punishers have reclaimed the top
spot. Here is the way it went when I
was on the sideline of the Punishers getting ready to be blasted by the Falcons
(at the time you were still the Falcons so stop typing and back away from that
email, terrorist).
0:03
0:02
0:01
BANG!!!
Fred sprints towards me, I didn’t know if he was going to deliver my Saint Patrick’s Day card from Craig or not but this is what was said:
Fred: “I did the math on the way over and we will be # 1 correct”???
Standing Pat: “Fred, I saw you standing next to Armando Salazar talking and he did the math”!!!
Fred: “Whatever”!!!
Standing Pat: “Yes Fred the Punishers are the new # 1’s”!!!
Fred: “Thank you Standing Pat for everything and I love your hair it always looks great”!!!
Dude thanks for the complement I will let my hairdresser know you like her work.
Prediction:
Punishers are still very big and very dangerous.
I do however still think they need some work in the secondary.
They are getting better and that will help them down the stretch but Gene
has like 5,000,000 yards passing this year and this weekend shouldn’t much
different. I will say this though
the big difference between these two teams is speed.
The Stampede has it and the Punishers don’t.
Watch out for # 32 Taylor Walden, he will have a monster game but if the
Stampede can slow him down they will win.
Stampede 21 Punishers 14
Gladiators vs.
Cowboys 11:30 AM at T-Bird
Ok this is going to take some time and you are not going to enjoy it Cowboys but I must be true to the column and the readers and calling like I see it. I talked with Dustin and Warren after the game and told them what I was going to say and they said I was right and I needed to do what I needed to do so here it is. I remember 2 years ago when you played my team the first game of the year and beat us. That was a great game to play in and you guys played great. The reason you won the game was because you played as a single unit and worked hard and respected not only my team but the game itself. Then last year in the first game of the year you played my team again and you played hard and we got very lucky to win that game and I think that is where the wheels came off this team. Here is why I am bringing up the past. On those teams I played on we were fat, and slow and old but we played as a team and had each others backs. That is why we won those Championships. None of us were going to the next level so we didn’t worry about that and just had fun. You guys have way too many individuals on your team and it is killing you. Dudes now I am mad, you should have POUNDED the Demons and while I am at it you should have KILLED the Punishers but you didn’t. Dang dudes you guys are a great TEAM, as individuals you are mediocre at best. I have played against most of you and trust me none of you are going up** except maybe Dustin because he can flat out coach. Try this for the rest of the year and I guarantee you get a ring, do what Dustin tells you to, here is and example:
Dustin: “Go out there and hit someone”!!!
Player: “Yes coach”!!!
See that wasn’t hard so what I want all you Cowboys to do is look in the mirror and repeat after me 100 times:
“Yes Coach”!!!
Now I could sit here and blast you guys for another hour but I still have to play against you so just win the ring will you I have a ton of money on you and I need a new boat!!! ** Editor extends Apologies to Corey Brown a Cowboys player that is now with the AF2 (up) Central Valley Coyotes of the Arena 2 Professional Football League and to the five Cowboys being considered for pro or college teams as this column runs.
Prediction:
The Gladiators are done, sorry dudes I love all of you but I just don’t
see that fire anymore in your eyes.
Plus after this week’s practice I would take the Cowboys over ASU because if I
know Dustin at all he is going to make a statement with his team at practice and
with the rest of the league on Saturday.
For some reason “Don’t poke the Lion” seams to be an understatement this
week. Cowboys 35 Gladiators 0
Hitmen you must have played a great game to only lose by 4 to the Stampede. I know you have a nice team and you were at home but with the loss of your starting RB and having Jack wanting to kick field goals 73 yards out makes you even that more impressive. Keep plugging dudes a second round loss is in the cards for you, good job!!!
Prediction:
Yes the Hitmen have to leave the land of
ice and snow and they are a little dinged up and yes the Head Hunters played
their best game last week of the year I still must remember that the Hunters are
1 win away form being Falcons. Both
teams have some size but the Hitmen have more numbers and are faster.
I don’t think the Hunters will be able to chew up yards on the edge this
week like they did last week. Hitmen 24
Head Hunters 7
Predators vs.
Raiders 4:30 at T-Bird
Ok so the Raiders are going along with their two wins maybe they make the playoff and maybe they don’t. Whatever right??? Wrong??? See if you have a chance to pick up a great player (Tony Garza) you wine him, dine him and do what you need to do to get a quality guy like him in. That is what Vince did and because of that I will call my shot right now and say that the Raiders might find themselves losing to the Cowboys in the Championship game this year. They have been on the verge all year of exploding and watch this weekend because clack, clack boom it is on for the Black and Silver.
Prediction: This is
easy. They Predators will do the
opposite of last week. Raiders 31 Predators 17
Cavaliers vs. Dragon
Flies 12:00 PM at North Mexico
Well I am a little flustered with the Flies because they should not be getting HAMMERED by the Head Hunters. This is a team that is losing control fast during their games and they need to fix it in a hurry. There are too many vets on this team for it to be this bad. Now having guys going both ways is never good and it is killing them. I can tell you that I am spend at half time and so are the rest of the heavies.
Prediction: The
Cavaliers are hurting for dudes and even though they are at home they still
might only have 20 in uniform. The
Flies do travel well and play good away from Phoenix.
Sean, dude I just had a killer thought!!!
Move the team out of Phoenix!!!
We could be the Douglas Dragons or something!!!
Then we might win!!! I think
I am going to take the Flies this week.
The Cavaliers looked very drained last week and they got beaten up pretty
good. I know they are at home and
they play very well there but here is my thought process.
The Flies have a problem once they are down by 3 scores and they don’t
have they offense to come from behind.
The Cavaliers are not a high powered scoring machine and play the same
game as the Flies. So with that
being a wash and how well the Flies travel I got to go with the size and
experience. Make sure the nachos are
hot and spicy because Standing Pat is comin' to town (yes Jack I know I am as
fat as Santa but you are closer in age to him, HO, HO, HO)!!! Flies 14 Cavaliers
13
There it is all the words I could fit on 7 pages. Just an update on my quest to get a date for Skylight, it is not going good. I don’t understand it, he has a car, a job, a place to live (parents house), friends, why can’t he get a date. I tell you what Skywriter I will pay for your date. Ladies because yes in fact Sky High is gainfully employed doesn’t mean he can afford to take you to a nice place so to sweeten the pot I will put up the cash for one lucky lady to go to a nice place (Applebee’s, try the nachos) and I will pay for the movie tickets and the popcorn. It is the least (very) I can do to hook a fine brother up with one of you nice ladies. The first girl to go to the both and tell “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” that you want the Standing Pat package will be the lucky girl that gets the date. Only rules to enter are you need to be over 18 years old and a girl. Just a helpful hint he gets there around 9:00 in the morning so get there early and please no fighting over him. Kids have a safe week and I will see you at the game.
Week Eight - Saturday, March 8th 2008
Hi DE Ho boys and girls and welcome to this week version of
Standing Pat (Applause)!!! Here is
an interesting stat for y’all. Did
you know that all the visiting teams won last week???
So if you are from Cave Creek,
Gladiators swatted the Flies 28-3 - Stampede preyed on the
Predators 28-6
Punishers raided and pillaged the men in black 14-6
Hitmen punched the Demons 14-0 - Cowboys lassoed the Cavaliers 24-6
See since I am on the radio (Saturdays 8-10pm on AM 1010 and AM 1280) I need to
work on my stupid analogies. We have
some great games this week and a double game of the week so let’s get on with
the games…
Gladiators (4-2
Ranked # 5) vs. Predators (3-3 Ranked # 6) 9 am at Thunderbird HS
It doesn’t matter what turmoil you have going on with your team because a
visit to Cave Creek will put you back on your winning ways.
It was not a very convincing win for the G-men however.
I think it was 0-0 at the end of the first.
Now on a good note the Gladiators O-line was lights out and moving the
pile most of the day. I am very down
on the Gladiators right now and I really don’t want to be but they are just not
playing good ball right now and need to win a couple of games to avoid losing in
the first round again.
Ok the melt down is almost complete.
Two weeks ago they should have lost to the Falcons and last week they had
the Stampede on the ropes but let them off the hook, yo!!!
Dudes you are still in a state of confusion either be great or suck.
Last week you were great for 3 ½ quarters and then WHAMOO the wheels came
flying off and it was bad. In-fact
it was so bad that it might dictate they rest of their season.
This is the most important game of the year for the Predators. They
really need to play a quality game here or they might as well sell their playoff
spot to the Flies (dudes I will give you $50.00 for it).
Prediction:
Gladiators played the Flies at the right time.
They really needed a win badly.
The Predators or still doing that Jekyll and Hyde thing at you got to
figure that with them going good one week and bad the next they are going to
lose either in the first round or the second no matter who they play.
Now with that logic going I am picking them to win this week. Predators
17 Gladiators 10
Cowboys (6-0 Ranked
# 1) vs. Demons (2-5 Ranked # 8) 11:30am at Thunderbird HS
Tucson Desert Demons, born January 2008 survived by their
loving wives, girlfriend, children and so on.
Even though their live was short they lived it to the fullest.
Services will be held at
Ok I am privy to some things that some of you are not and the Cowboys team emails are one of the things I receive. Here is the way it goes…
Good job this weekend we have a few things to iron out so
be at practice ready to run , oh and nothing other then total annihilation of
our opponent (Demons) will be expectable.
Prediction: The snack bar will be open for the entire game so in between the
Cowboys scores you will have time to get that bottle of water or a candy bar.
Demons you are in for a fun time just be happy that you get to play and
don’t take it personally. Cowboys 48 Demons 7
Punishers (6-1
Ranked # 2) vs. Cavaliers (2-4 Ranked # 7) 2:00pm at Thunderbird HS
Cavaliers nice game against the Cowboys.
You didn’t lose by 100 which I thought and I must give it up to your
effort. The good news is you guys
played very well even though you lost; the bad news is you are not playing in
the land of nachos. Prediction: Punishers
look very bad right now and they are primed to lose a game.
Will it be this weekend? I
don’t think so but a 9:00am game with the Stampede next week could be on the
line if they don’t get their crapola together in a hurry. Punishers 21 Cavaliers
10
Dragon Flies (0-6
Ranked # 11) vs. Falcons (0-6 Ranked # 10) 4:30pm at T-bird HS
Hitmen (5-2 Ranked #
3) vs. Stampede (%-1 Ranked # 4) 2:00pm at Peaks View Park
So there are times when teams look past other teams and
don’t have a good game because they know the next week they have a stud team.
Is that the case with the Stampede or is it something more?
Only time will tell but they were losing last week ALL GAME until the
end. This is not a cake walk in the
least. The big questions the boys in
orange need to ask is what happened to their O-line last week.
It was very average and Gene paid the price and yes boys and girls he is
a good durable QB but he can’t take the pounding he did last week every week.
Prediction: I would love to take
Antarctica here but the absence of their # 1 back will be the difference here.
The Hitmen have a stiff defense so they will remain in the game but now
the inside running game is gone and the Stampede are very fast off the edge.
Stampede 21 Hitmen 14
There it is all that is the AzFL.
Don’t forget to listen Saturday night from 8-10 on AM 1010 or AM 1280
so you can get all your AzFL updates and sports from around the world.
We might even talk Soccer, ok we won’t but you never know.
Much love to all, Pat (Mr. Valentine Talk Abouter Person!)
Week Seven - Saturday, March 1st 2008
PAT will be on the AIR this Friday on 1010 AM 3-4 PM, tune in and get ticked off all over again! Hello kids how are you??? Great I hope, well it was a very interesting weekend in the AzFL. As it turns out by the amount of phone calls on the radio show (Saturday’s 8-10 AM 1010 KXXT) you either don’t stay up late or you didn’t have the phone number. So if you have something to say then call up and say it, the way you do that is to click on the 2Bad4U Email at the top of this page and send us your Rant, we will contact you and set up the call, if you are one of the lucky ones. Ok so we did see a ton of great football last week starting with that epic tilt in the Dragon Flies/Demons game. It was great to play in a and back and forth and hard hitting on the field and off game.
I heard that the Hitmen placed extra snow on the filed this
weekend in slow down the Raiders and it worked.
You got to love that home field advantage.
Oh and there was a little game of some importance under the lights.
Now I have to tell you I got this great email today from a member of the
Cowboys. As it turns out this
particular Cowboys loves my name changing thing and like I said I will change a
name if you ask and he did. He wants
me to change the Punishers to the
Dragon Flies vs.
Gladiators 9 am at Thunderbird HS
I said last week that they Gladiators look like a team that
is ready to unravel and they keep proving me correct.
The big question is who is going to be taking snaps this week.
# 10 out, # 13 I think he might be gone and #7 is a great football player
but had a tough week. This is still
a very dangerous team with a lights out defense and a great back in Byron Autry
(Strength and Honor) and a larger then life TE Dave Edwards. Not good times in
Prediction:
I told everyone from the coaches to the owners that I would have picked
the Flies to beat the G-men if they Flies won last week and I meant it.
But the Flies didn’t follow through.
I would love to take them but I am not stupid (I heard that Jack).
The point I am trying to make with the G-Men is they are not playing good
football and it shows. The control
is out the window so let the train wreck continue.
Predators vs.
Stampede 11:30 am at Thunderbird HS
So you lose a big game to the Cowboys and there you are at the cross roads of your football life, you can either go to the left and lose the rest of you games or you can go to the right and blast the next team you face. What do you think the Magic Man (Gene) and Valentine (Craig) (inside joke, listen to the radio show and you will be in on it) do? They HAMMERED the Gladiators. It was not even pleasant to watch. Kidos this is a real good team and if you remember they were beating the Cowboys late in the 4th. I can’t really say anything bad about this team except I can’t wait to see the Easter Card email I get from Craig. Hey Gene will that be the first Easter Card you get? I can’t wait!!!
Prediction: I was
really hoping this would be the Halloween Bowl and that both teams would wear
their orange uniforms but they Great Oz did not think that would be a good idea.
That is why he is the smart one (stop it Jack).
Predators you need to play the perfect game if you want to only lose by
14. Sorry dudes but a pumpkin is
still a pumpkin. Stampede 35 Predators 7
Ok before all the Punishers grab a ski mask and a take some dude hostage and force him to email me at gun point I promised Fred I would say something nice about you guys so here we go. At least you didn’t lose by 40!!! See, I keep my promises. No really; like I told Fred on Monday, dude I have never seen you guys play so fast ever. If you can play like that every week you might get your shovel back.
Prediction: Raiders
I feel for you and I must give you this disclaimer.
This next statement did not come from me it came from one of the
Punishers so don’t take it out on me and let me know if you figure out which
Punisher said this next statement, and I quote, “We are going to drop 100 points
on the Raiders”, end quote. I was
going to go with like 48 or something there you have it our first guest
prediction. Punishers 48 Raiders 10
Desert Demons vs.
Hitmen 12:00 pm in Way North Mexico
(Pima College Tucson)
Ok Hitmen are you ready for the new game that I heard you
guys created Saturday night? Here we
go:
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
Dudes that was great. For all you
other Hitmen that don’t have any idea what I am talking about go ask Jay dudes
it is funny. Don’t forget we will be ON
THE AIR again this Saturday from 8-10 on 1010 AM KXXT
so be ready!!!
Prediction: Well we
know that the Hitmen can win in the snow but can they win in sunny Mexico?
I think so. The Demons are
1398% better then they were 3 weeks ago but the Hitmen are a very well coached
and very well prepared team.
Cavaliers vs.
Cowboys 2:30 in Way North Mexico
(Pima College Tucson)Cavaliers we missed you last week.
How are the nachos at the Applebee’s???
I hope they are hot, fresh and crunchy.
Dudes I can’t wait until March 15 when I get to head to the Vista and
hook up the nachos and then hit the hot
Cowboys welcome back to the number 1 spot. What a great game that must have been to play in. I bet there are already 1000 pictures of The Shovel in a pink dress and high heels with makeup on and stuff floating around the internet. Make sure all you guys get a picture with it because if you play again you might give it back. I asked the question last week on the radio show and I will ask it again, first off I want to say that I think Dustin should be coaching on Sundays or at the very least Division 1 and don’t think for a minute he can’t coach, but I would not be doing my job if I didn’t ask the question: Why move away from what makes you so good? Granted you have a great QB and great Receivers but you have the best 1-2 punch in the back field in the league. Maybe Dustin figures this was not as an important game so don’t show much. Ok I even know that is bologna (family show). It worked and that is the important thing but will it work in the playoffs? Only time will tell and Dustin; call in this weekend on the radio show and give us some insight dude.
Prediction: As
Clubber Lang (Rocky movie anti-hero) would say, “I Predict Pain”!!!
I don’t think the Cowboy gave us that warm and fuzzy feeling last weekend
and they could have lost that game or at least it might have been a tie and that
is just weird!!! Cowboys 49
Cavaliers 0
Ok I don’t remember if I mentioned it but, “LISTEN TO THE
RADIO SHOW THIS SATURDAY ON AM 1010 FROM 8-10 AT NIGHT AND SIGN UP TO CALL
IT”!!! This was funny and I just
remembered but did you see Buick Skylark sporting that Diamondbacks tee shirt
last weekend. Dude what are you like
incognito or are you your own Dodger terrorist cell waiting to activate yourself
to help the Blue and White win the Western division so they can get hammered by
the Astros in the playoffs? I did
however get a request form RRRROOORRRRYYYY in the booth.
It seems that with all that Dodger loving going on Skyhawk doesn’t have
much time for the ladies and if you remember last year we helped Skylights booth
partner Sean get a Prom Date. I am
glad to report that Sean and his girlfriend are doing well and expecting their 4th
kid. So ladies we now need you to
come out in force and check young Skywalker out and call the radio show (AM 1010
Saturday 8-10 pm) and you can win a date with him.
Only two rules you need to be a girl and over 18 but you can be in your
90’s if you want. Have a great week
and I will see you at the games. Much love to
all!!! (nearly all)
Pat
Week Six - Saturday, February 23rd 2008
(Sound of multiple Trumpets) Introducing a name change in the AzFL!!! Yes kids we now have an official name change in the land of the AzFL. As promised (and we all know I keep my promises right Jack?) by the power vested in me by the Great Oz (Kevin) I now proclaim the Tumbleweed Town Desert Flowers the Way North Mexico Desert Demons (Thunderous applause)!!! Congrats to the Desert Demons on their very first victory of the year. It was a long time coming but we worth the wait. The great thing is that we still have 2 teams that don’t look like they will get their name back anytime soon. Now to answer a very good question asked of me by a member of the Falcons, NO!!! Ok so it was a very exciting week in the AzFL, ok I would not leave you hanging like that the question was if the Dragon Flies and the Falcons tie will that earn their name back? I would like to thank the Falcons for their question and keep writing. Well we found out that the Punishers have been watching tape on the Cowboys and figured out that making the other team turn the ball over is a really good strategy. The Stampede are really good but not good enough and that even with new pants the Falcons still can’t win. Enough with the pleasantries, on with the games…
Falcons (0-5) v
Predators (2-2) 11:30 am Thunderbird HS
Predators dudes, now for the new guys on your team let me
give you a little history with me and the Predators, I have been a little harsh
from time to time in my column and I have been criticized by your ownership and
some of the older Predators for not being on the bandwagon and picking you guys
to lose all the time. There is one
reason that I have been that way with your team and it is because of
consistency!!! Make up you minds
dude, either be good every week or suck every week either way I don’t care but
pick one, please. Like last week you
got worked by
Prediction: Sorry
Falcons no name change this week for you guys.
The Predators are too good and even though they seem to not want to go
deep in the playoffs they are still dangerous to a team with no wins. Predators
24 Falcons 10
Dragon Flies (0-4) v
Desert Demons (1-4) 2pm T-bird HS
Flies how are you doing after a long vacation from losing?
Good I hope!!! I will say
this the Flies did a very good job up in the Staff and each week get a little
better and it would not surprise me at all if they don’t lose by double digits
very soon. Now being on the team I
could sit here and breakdown ALL the negative but that would not be fair, I do
enough complaining at films (ask Sean) so I will save it for then.
Once again I must congratulate them Demons on their victory. I did not see the game but heard that it was the defense that got them the score so something went right. The cool thing for them is now they have a real chance to put two wins together because the scheduler was kind.
Prediction:
Something needs to give here either the Flies get it done or the Demons get
their second win. Here is the way I
see it. The Demons had a very hard
time with the Gladiators because of their size.
I know it was a low score but the game was not that close.
On the other hand the Flies have a hard time with speed and the Demons
have some. I think this is going to
be about control. If the Flies can
keep the Demons defense on the field, they should win.
This is a big team and the Demons are not big.
I am out on the limb kids and for the first time in 2 years I am going to
call my shot. Dragon Flies 17 Demons 10
Gladiators (3-1) v
Stampede (3-1) 4:30 pm T-bird HS
I must say that last week was the most exciting game I have seen in a long time. Back and forth, blow to blow. Gene is a magician kids, flat out. It was a passing tutorial on both sides of the ball. Now with that said it was also a class in how not the play pass defense. Man it was there for you guys but I must say the better team won but know you know what you have to do in the championship game against them don’t you?
Prediction: This is
going to be very interesting because the Gladiators have the best corners in the
league and better then average linebackers.
Not a good match up for the Stampede.
But they are the better team I think.
Don’t you get the feeling that the Gladiators are about to unravel here?
I do and I don’t know why but a loss or two in a row here and you might
see the ship sink. Stampede 24 Gladiators 10
Cowboys 4-0 v
Punishers 5-0 7:00 pm T-bird HS
Prediction: This
will be a study of control vs. no control.
The Cowboys are very structured and are very well coached at every
position. The Punishers are
uncontrolled fury. I think it comes
down to preparation and both teams will prepare but the way they do it will be
the difference. I think the Cowboys
will not change a thing and make the Punishers adjust to them.
That already takes the Punishers out of their game.
Don’t miss this one kids, it will be a good one. Cowboys 28 Punishers 17
Hitmen (3-2) v
Raiders (2-3) 2:00 pm in Antarctica
Boys and girls I hope that you had a great weekend and that
you enjoy the games. Trust me if you
get a chance go see the Cowboys/Punishers game it will be great.
Rumor has it that if the Cowboys win
Much love to all, Pat
Week Five - Saturday, February 16th 2008
Howdy everyone and welcome to this weeks edition.
I did make it down from Antarctica (
Raiders 1-3 vs.
Falcons 0-4 9:00 AM at Thunderbird HS
Ok now, the Raiders were going to lose that game and we all knew
it but they dropped 27 points on the Cowboys and that might be the most points
they give up all year. There are
good losses and bad losses and the Raiders had a good loss.
See, there are definite classes in this league and the Cowboys are in the
upper class but the Raiders are at that door knocking hard.
Falcons, nice job against a team that should have blown you out of the water. Not enough to earn your team name back but still you turned turnovers into points like you should have. Still injuries have plagued this team all year but the good thing is, other then you playing the Gladiators you have good chances to win a few games. See it is not all bad.
Prediction: Falcons are not there yet but didn’t look bad against the Punishers so they are on the right path. Raiders have looked good at times and bad at times and I think they will look good this week. They have too much all over for the Falcons. Raiders 35 Falcons 10
Punishers 4-0 vs.
Gladiators 3-0 11:30 AM at Thunderbird HS
This is my game of the week pick #1 and now we will finally find
out which one of these teams have a chance to get blasted by the Cowboys in the
Championship game and which team will lose in the first round to the Cowboys.
I think that what we saw for both teams is a case of them looking past
the team they played last week to the next week; at least I hope so because they
both looked bad. It is hard to play
a weaker team the week before you play a top team.
Prediction: For the Punishers they need to use their size to neutralize the Gladiators speed. On offence the Punishers need to come up with a balanced game plan because the G-men defense is really good. For the G-men then need to find a way to get the ball vertical to their receivers. Usually I say Byron Autry (Strength and Honor) needs 47 carries but not this week. This should be rough and bloody and we are going to need extra hospital personnel at this one. Punishers 10 Gladiators 8
Predators 3-1 vs.
Hitmen 2-2 2:00 PM at Thunderbird HS
Don’t worry Predators, getting crushed by the Bye Week 213-0 will
not get your name changed but losing to the Hitmen will.
I don’t know how they do it but they win week after week.
This is my sleeper team and every week they get win after win.
I wish someone would explain it to me because I can’t figure it out.
Hitmen; thank you very much for the game up in the snow it was a beautiful day and fun to play in. Now I will let you decide about your performance last week are the Dragon Flies getting better or is there something not right in the land of snow, oh if you guys want to know where Mr. White Christmas lives it is Flagstaff. Dudes break out the snow blower the day before the game not during the coin toss dudes. It was however a great time and a great place to play.
Prediction:
The weird thing is that the Hitmen are like the Cavaliers in the respect
that they have not won a game in
Stampede 3-0 vs.
Cowboys 3-0 4:30 at Thunderbird HS
I can’t help but look at the score from last week’s game against the Raiders, 27 points given up by the Cowboys. The Raiders have a good passing game and a weak defense, now the Cowboys go up against a great passing game and a good defense. I guess time will tell.
Prediction:
Remember how I told the Stampede that it was not fair to break the glass
and pull out Craig and suit him up?
Well this is the time they need to do that.
Craig on the field will make all the difference.
The style, grace great hair he is the total package.
Now I like the Cowboy only because of their size up front.
They have balance and match the speed of the Stampede.
It will be a great game to watch but Cowboys are the best.
Cowboys 24 Stampede 21
Cavaliers 2-2 vs.
Desert Flowers 0-4 12:00 at a secret (Pima College East Campus Turf Field)
location in North Mexico.
It is finally here the game we all have been waiting for it is the “Dust Bowl
2008”!!! Yes kido's the game that
will decide which team is the better team in
Prediction:
Look at the location of the game and it will help you with the
prediction. Remember the Cavaliers
don’t win away form home and
Ok now we get to the good part. It has been brought to my attention that I have incorrectly spelled Skylars name for the last two years. Now we all know that is not possible because I have proven time after time that I know how to spell so it must be done on purpose. Sorry Sklyer until you admit that you are a Dodgers lover I can’t do it. Kids have a great week and I will see you at the games.
Love to all, Pat
Week Four - Saturday, February 9th 2008
Boys and girls I would like to introduce you to the Dragons Flies first offensive touchdown of the season (applause)!!! What a great week it was in the land of the AzFL. In case you missed it the Dragons Flies scored their first offensive touchdown of the year. The Raiders must have set a record for dropped passes in a game. We have a winner in the contest, oh and like I said until they win a few games some teams have had their name changed by me but I did say that if you had a better name I will change it and give you credit for it. First off; the Prey at my expense gets their name back but they are on probation so for this week they are once again the Predators. We do have a situation with one of our newly named teams. For the record and before I get 1000 emails I did not think of it but I wish I had it was brilliant. So we still have the Dragon Flies, Desert Flowers and I would like to announce the official name change of the Headless Hunters to (drum roll please), “The Falcons (applause)”!!! Now I did say that I would publish the name of the person responsible but that name is way to cool and the person gave me a big check to keep his name out so I must regress. Enjoy the name Falcons!!!
Cowboys 2-0 vs.
Raiders 1-2 9:00 am at Thunderbird High School
Dudes, what is up?
How were the nachos? Did the
drive going down go ok? Good I am
glad that it was a great trip down but I bet the trip back was about 15 hours
long and the food didn’t taste as good as it could have did it?
I mean you drive down the night before get a hotel room, hit the “Hot
Vista” night life. Party till dawn,
hang out at the beach, have a nice breakfast at the Golden Corral (all you can
eat for $8.99, includes a drink) and then, WHAMO you get
punked by the Cavaliers in
Prediction: Cowboys game plan is perfect and if they execute it the Raiders will have no chance. The Cowboys are rolling and after last weekend’s road trip to the Vista the Raiders and reeling. Cowboys 31 Raiders 10
Gladiators 2-0 vs.
Desert Flowers 0-3 11:30 am at Thunderbird High School
How are my bright Desert Flowers this week?
Good I hope. I got to say one
thing and it was awesome. Last week
the Flowers countered the Punishers shovel with a Sledge Hammer.
Dudes that just became the best mascot in the AzFL.
I mean a sledge hammer someone needs a pay raise down in Tumbleweed town.
I hope they bring it up the dusty trail to the
Prediction: I will ride the Pain Train until it stops. This team is playing good football and they need to because the next two games are the Punisher and the Stampede. The Gladiators have too much experience and they are on a roll. Oh, and Coach LaBarbera keep feeding Byron Autry (Strength and Honor) and ride him all the way to the Championship game, so you can get blasted by the Cowboys. Gladiators 38 Desert Flowers 7
Stampede 2-0 vs.
Cavaliers 2-1 2:00 pm at Thunderbird High School
Cavaliers I see you guys working and that was a great game
plan. Open up the lovely city of the
Falcons 0-3 vs.
Punisher 3-0 4:30 pm at Thunderbird High School
STOP THE PRESSES,
STOP THE PRESSES, the Punishers are ranked (drum roll please) # 1. Now they
do deserve it but man that was hard pill to swallow but I am a fair person (yes
Jack I know holding is not fair) and they deserve it.
Good win last week down in the
Prediction: Let’s see where the Falcons Quarterback Carousel stops this week. Dude if you need a Quarterback I can pass a little and hand off and fumble too!!! This is not going to be good. I wonder if the Falcons can do what the Dragon Flies could not, keep the score under 55? Punishers 56 Falcons 7
Hitmen 1-2 vs.
Dragon Flies 0-3 2:00 pm at Peaks View Park, Flagstaff
Jay: “What do you think?”
Jack: “I’m hungry!”
Jay: “Me too!”
Jack: “Let’s try the Fake Jack Field Goal!”
Jay: “No it’s too far and that great lyrical gangster Standing
Pat will give us heck if we miss, man does his hair look great or what?”
Jack: “Yea, I wish I had hair like Standing Pat, anyway lets go with a 10 yard
out rout to the slot receiver!”
Jay: “BRILLIANT”
Jay: “Complete!!! Great call Jack what next?”
Jack “SOS!”
Jay “Ok”
Jay: “Complete!!! Great call Jack what next?”
Jack “SOS!”
Jay “Ok”
Jay: “Complete!!! Great call Jack what next?”
Jack “SOS!”
Jay “Ok”
Jay: “NOOOO (Interception game over)!!! Let’s go get some
nachos!!!”
Jack: “I told you we should have tired the Fake Jack Field Goal!!!”
Ok now I think it is great to publish the Dragon Flies scores for their last 13 games but to tell you the truth they looked not bad I guess. The second half was 7-7 and they only had two turn overs which has been killing them. It is the little things that will get this team back on track so we will have to see what is in store for them in the coming weeks.
Prediction: First off the home field advantage is not as big a deal for the Dragon Flies because they are fat and well insolated from the cold so scratch that. It should be an easy game for the Hitmen. The Dragon Flies don’t defend the pass well and they Hitmen have a better then average passing game. The one thing the Dragons Flies do have on their side is size. The Gladiators pushed the smaller Hitmen around and the Dragon Flies are even bigger. If the Flies can hold onto the ball and keep the Hitmen offense off the field they should do ok. If not it could be 56-7 again!!! Hitmen 24 Dragons Flies 17
Much love, Pat
Week Three - Saturday, February 2nd 2008
Responses to this weeks SP's - Pat; You clearly don't watch the headhunter games. You are right when you say "but from what I saw I don't think the score was that close" and I agree with you. But the difference is I see it in the opposite light. They controlled the game but we had 3 possession inside the 20 that we didn't capitalize on. All off of turnovers I might add. One time we were down on the 1 yard line and got bit by the "official bug" haha. So to me the score should've been closer than it indicated and not as lopsided as you predicted. - James Fischer
Howdy ho boys and girls and welcome to week # 3 of the AzFL. Let me tell you first off that last weekend was not the time to be a visiting team because they all lost and badly in most cases. Well let’s see Dragons still stink as well as the Head Hunters. Cavaliers don’t like the cold and the Demons don’t like the heat, and to try at being funny the Predators were the Prey (I slay myself). If fact let’s go back to the name change game because I like it so. It works like this, until your team wins again you lose your team name that you started the season with and I give you a not so cool new name. Now don’t hate on me because you can’t win it is not my fault (except for the two bad snaps I had last weekend, I suck). So look for them below, and if you think my new names suck tell me a better on and I will change it and give you all the credit next for the name change.
Headless Hunters
vs. Cowboys 9:00 am at
I said it before and I will say it again, the Cowboys are my pick to win it all and not only did they show that this past weekend against the Prey, they also showed some class by not running up the score. Balance will win you games, and it doesn’t hurt to get like 100 turnovers to bounce your way either. Dustin has his gang hitting hard and they are hungry. Prediction: Can you say “Blow Out”??? Too much size, speed and confidence by the Cowboys. This is not a good match up for the Headless Hunters. Cowboys 47 Headless Hunters 7
Prey vs.
Dragon Flies 11:30 am at Thunderbird
High School
Dudes just a week ago you were the talk of the town and looking great with that
big win over the Desert Flowers.
But then reality set in and the
Prey got hammered by the Cowboys.
Dude they must have watched the
Dragon Flies game from the week
before because for some reason the ball just kept hitting the ground.
Just a little advice from your friends at the Standing Pat offices,
“DON’T FUMBLE ON THE 20 YARD LINE”!!!
I think the King of Fanoff said it best, at one point the Cowboys
recovered a fumble on the Prey’s 35
yard line and it was the worst field position of the game for the Cowboys.
The scores of the last 12
Dragon Flies games:
0-52
0-31
0-46
6-35
0-56
0-42
0-16
6-49
0-15
11-28
6-10
7-53
Enough said? No not enough said; how about 17 turnovers in the last two games!
Prediction: Here is the simple answer;
the team with the least amount of turnovers will win.
The breakdown if they both lose the ball 5 times (take that bet in Vegas
you will win) is the Dragon Flies
played the Punishers tough last week. The
passing game was better and the Special Teams looked better also. I know I am
going to get a ton of emails about this but this is a better match up for the
Dragon Flies.
They are bigger and just as fast and hard hitting as the
Prey.
I mean come on these teams can’t turn the ball over every single
possession can they? Dragon Flies 14 Prey
7
Gladiators vs.
Hitmen 2:00 pm at Thunderbird High School
Hitmen, Hitmen, Hitmen what is up??? Great victory against the Cavaliers last week. Talk about a home field advantage, 16 inches of snow, 10 degree weather it is almost unfair. This is a good looking team and they do the little things well, clock management, hustle, and trick plays??? Dude, ok I know that you tried that lame-o 2 point conversion that cost you the game against the Punisher (ask Gene and Craig they said so too) but dudes don’t break out the Fake Jack Field Goal just to see if you really can do it. Save that for practice Grand Puba.
Cavaliers vs. “The
Raiders” 12:00 pm at Some Unknown Secret Location in Tumbleweed Town
Desert Flowers vs.
Punishers 2:30 pm at Some Unknown Secret Location in Tumbleweed Town
Desert Flowers what happened to you guys?
I understand what happened in Week # 1 but to get beat after you had like
what 123 guys in uniform is not good.
Now there is hope at the end of the rainbow.
You are not playing the Cowboys this weekend!!!
Just kidding but you guys are solid and I think it is just an identity
thing. You don’t know who you are
yet and that is ok but now you get the Punishers and they are no joke.
This is a caged beast and you are in a dog fight for you life.
Ok now it kills me to say but what a great game the Punishers played. The game plan was perfect, force the Dragon Flies to turn the ball over every possession and score. Brilliant!!! Oh and I love the shovel thing and think it is great and believe me Fred lets everyone in the world about The Shovel Oh one other thing I must give credit and kids # 32 Taylor Waldron is for real. The dude can flat out hit and he plays clean and 110% every play.
Prediction:
I got to give it up to the Punishers they played great, hard hitting
football and I know they run their mouths all game long (and I mean ALL GAME
LONG) but that is their game so prepare and deal with it. I suggest that all the
Desert Flowers
players go home and tell their wives that
they spend the rent money at the race track.
Believe me the Punishers jaw jacking will seem light compared, I know I
told that to Mrs. Standing Pat and I was looking forward to the Punishers!!!
Punishers are too big and on a roll but the home town crowd should be
fun. Punishers 35 Desert Flowers 10
Well that is all I got for this week except to call you out Skylar for not reading my column last week, dude I thought we were bros but I guess we are not anymore and I am saddened. Oh I did like the record fan off what was it like 49 times in 4 games??? That is awesome. Don’t forget kidos email me for your chance to win that great prize for the Standing Pat prize vault. Have a great week and I will see you at the games. Much love, Pat
Week Two - Saturday, January 26th 2008
What a great weekend of football we had in the good old
AzFL. Tons of hard hitting action
both here in the
Cowboys vs. Predators 9:00 AM at Thunderbird HS
Coming off a tough loss to the Bye Week the Cowboys are my pick as the top seed
in the league and after getting hammered by the Bye I was a little hesitant to
keep them on top but I did. This
well be a hard hitting team that has a ton of experience combining a well
balanced offence and I think this defense can lead the league in giving up the
fewest points. Dustin has been a
proven year after year that he can coach football and his way of doing things is
perfect for the personnel they have on their roster.
I must say that I almost choked on my nachos when I heard
that the Predators won last weekend.
I think we need to examine what is in the water in
Ok first off I have been critical of the Punishers all off season and I think
that it has been warranted. All we
here is the “Road to the Championship…” and all that stuff.
Well I hope that they learned a few things this weekend.
First off, do what the coach calls.
If he says run the “Victory” play then do it.
That will prevent you from fumbling the football and having a prayer
answered. Secondly don’t play down
to your competition and I don’t mean that in the negative to the Hitmen but
dudes you are like 6’ 5” everywhere you should of pounded the Hitmen and you
didn’t. Third play Rich Pop Warner
more.
The scores of the last 11 Dragons games (Dragons score
first):
0-52
0-31
0-46
6-35
0-56
0-42
0-16
6-49
0-15
11-28
6-10
Enough said?
Prediction: This is actually a better match up for the Dragons. Both teams are big up front and this should be a running the ball clinic. Wishbone vs. I-Formation. It was a good preseason game a few weeks ago also. I am going to have to go with the Punishers. The Dragons don’t know how to win and until they do I will not pick them to win. Now it will not be 52-0 but they still don’t have enough to get by the Punishers. Punishers 21 Dragons 7
Raiders vs. Desert Demons 2:30 PM at Thunderbird
I must say that I am very impressed with the Raiders.
They could not pull it out but their offensive game plan was great and
they executed it well and they should have won that game.
Spyder, dude, 99.9 yard TD that was awesome bro,
I was out of breath just watching him run all that way and you know a
play like that could not happen to a nicer guy.
I could become a believer in this team in a hurry.
What a passing attack they put up against the Gladiators.
There were Raiders open all game long and if their line could give the
Quarterback just one more second they would have picked apart the G-men.
Now I was not at the game and I was told that the Desert
Demons were short handed. With that
being said they will need to pick it up a notch because the Raiders are for
real. Not many have seen what the
Desert Demons have to offer but they have a nice defense and an offence that is
capable of scoring some points. Now
the cat will be out of the bag this weekend and we will get to see what all the
buzz is down in
Prediction: Now after my next statement I am going to have to wash my moth out with soap but I am becoming a huge (no Jack not because I am fat) Raiders fan. This is a fun team and they looked really good. Remember kids there are good and bad losses. Raiders 28 Desert Demons 10
Stampede vs. Head Hunters 4:30 PM at Thunderbird
Ok here is the Stampede in a nut shell:
1st down, run in the middle.
2nd down, run outside
3rd down, Post corner TOUCHDOWN STAMPEDE
Like I said last week this is a Championship caliber team and they have the tools to win it all.
The Head Hunters are not off to a good start.
They got worked down in the
Prediction: Very long day for the Head Hunters. Is possible for Gene to complete every pass he throws up for a touchdown? It was last week and I feel more of the same. Also I must call shenanigans, what is the deal with # 3 Craig Brown suiting up last weekend? It sounds like there were afraid of the Dragons and had to break him out for the game. What do you keep Craig in a glass case that says “Break glass in case of game with Dragons”? That was unfair. Stampede 45 Head Hunters 7
Hitmen vs. Cavaliers 2:00 PM at Flagstaff
Ok I am going to say that if you score a touchdown with 1:39 left in
the game “KICK THE EXTRA POINT”.
What were you guys thinking??? The
Punishers don’t have a kicking game, you go to overtime and kick the field goal
and leave with a 10-7 victory. Now I
understand you guys have a chance to win it and it was not your kickers fault
(bad snap, bad hold) but Jay and, well, well, well look what we have here, its
good OLD Jack calling the plays in the booth.
Now it all makes sense to me, it was not Jay but Jack.
You all remember Jack boys and girls the inventor of the Jack Kick, the
President of the Hair Club, the Prince of Holding (oh wait that is me), the
Grand Puba of the Lookout Block. Now
to add to the long list of accolades we have The Fake Jack Field Goal
(applause)!!! But the good news is
their defense was great against a bigger team.
Just as I told you last week the Cavaliers are going to
punch you in the mouth on every play.
Now they did have the game down in the
Prediction: This is the ultimate home field advantage in the AzFL. I played in the Staff like 4 years ago and I am still cold. Good defense, wildcard Jack and cold weather are a bad combination for the North Mexico Cavaliers. Hitmen 14 Cavaliers 7
Well there it is for all to see. I think the game of the week just might be the Raiders vs. the Desert Demons but we will have to see. Also on a sad note Sean is no longer part of the booth this year. Skylar has a new side kick. We will call him Sean’s brother because he is. We will see if he is luckier with the ladies then his brother was, so stay tuned for that. Have a great week gang and be safe.
Week One - Saturday, January 19th 2008
It is hard to believe but it is finally here.
AzFL football is back and better then ever.
Welcome back to another great year of AzFL football?
I am Pat your humble wordsmith here to give you all the inside info from
week to week. Predictions, stories,
opinions, complaints, I have all the stuff you need to know.
Now just a disclaimer for those of you how don’t know me I play for the
Cave Creek Dragons (#99) and loving every minute of it (except last weekend when
the G-man dropped a 42 on us) but if you are new to the league here is the way
it works. I will write it like I
see it so if you do something stupid it will make my column, don’t take it
personally, my advice to you is don’t do anything stupid.
Now on the flip side if you do something great I will let the whole
league now what you did. Now there
is one thing I will not do and that is call out a teammate of mine by name in
the negative. I will call the whole
team out as a hole but not an individual.
I still have to play with those guys but if a Dragon does something good
I will let you all know. If they
play like last week you won’t have to worry about me saying anything nice.
Ok some things have changed around the league and all for the better.
First and foremost for the first time in a few years we will have a brand
new out of the box Champion and I know that everyone is excited about that.
I see it as wide open and it is anyone’s league to win.
With all that being said lets just get right on with the predictions
shall we?
Prediction:
This is my game of the week and a great match up in week one of two teams
that has great defenses and offences that are not on track.
I will give the edge to the Punishers only because of size.
Speed will be on the side of the Hitmen but with the game being down the
hill the Punishers should have all their big guys in uniform.
Cavaliers vs. Head Hunters
2:30pm at
This is the game of two teams that you never hear anything about.
The Cavaliers play in the Vista which I think was annexed by Mexico this
summer which means the food got a lot better so they can just keep going on
under the radar and surprise people on Saturdays.
The line on the Cavaliers has been they bring their 12 guys to play every
single game and hit hard and do everything they need to make you understand you
are in a dog fight. The only
problem with that is 12 guys don’t cut it.
Injuries and small practice turnouts has killed this team year in and
year out. Well things are starting
to change in the
Kids I can’t tell you how excited I am for the start of the new season.
I know I say it every year but it turns out to be true that list is going
to be the best season in AzFL history.
Everyone have a great game and be safe and play hard.
Oh one last thing I know I mention Jack in like every article I put out
but I challenged myself not to do it this week and I even surprised myself.
Now I can’t make any promises for next week but we will just have to see.
Much love to all,