(to set up your call in to RANT back at PAT, Email the AzFL
at 2bad4u! If it's good we will get you on
the air or online or both. Remember the show streams
worldwide on the internet....Standing Pat 2008
The words of the football world as seen from the 3 point stance of an offensive lineman
and writer.
Yes, Patrick Montgomery is his name and destroying defenders is his game. One
way or another he will take them down, then write about it for everyone to see.
Join us each week as Patrick posts his picks and picks on his pals.
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Well, you have
always wanted to talk to Pat, right! Let him know what you think of what he
says! Of course you have...... You will get your chance LIVE on the AIR each
Saturday Night on our weekly broadcasts. Tune in to our 2 hour show on 1010 AM
and 1280 AM and let Pat have it...
(to set up your call in to RANT back at PAT, Email the AzFL
at 2bad4u! If it's good we will get you on
the air or online or both. Remember the show streams
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Week 14 Finals - Saturday, April 19th 2008
It is here the final game, hello boys and girls and welcome to Championship
weekend. I must first congratulate
the two winners from last week the Chandler Cowboys and the Southwest Stampede.
Next, I need to shout out to last week’s losers the Hitmen and the
Gladiators. G-men you guys played
off the hook dudes. That was one of
the most exciting games I can remember.
Much props to every person associated with the Gladiators that was a
great game. Also to the men of
# 1
All year long the air show that is the Stampede has been putting up sick passing numbers. And they have been doing enough on defense to get the job done. With that being said the Stampede have gone through a transformation of sorts, they found a running game and it has made them even better. Before you just had to sit back in a Nickel defense and have Gene only throw for 300 yards on you instead of 400. But now you have to worry about the run and that is why they have opened it up on every team they have faced in the playoffs. I said it all year that this Stampede team is going to be a force and they have lived up to that all year long and they are getting stronger week after week.
Match Up: Quarterbacks-Both teams have multiple weapons to choose from starting with their Quarterbacks, Gene and Brad. Both these guys are the best the league has to offer and they both run their huddles well. The difference maker between them and the others in the league in composure. Neither gets rattled and both are fantastic leaders. Edge: Tie/Tie
Running backs- The Cowboys feature the best 1-2 punch in the league with Mike Scott and Freddie Limpkin. Scott is the bull in the China Shop and Limpkin is the speed on the edge. Both run downhill and at 110% every time they touch the ball. E. J. Hooks has given the Stampede the ground threat they have been lacking. Now they can be two-dimensional and they can strike from the air and the ground. Edge-Cowboys
Wide Receivers- Cowboys in my opinoin have the two best in the league in Julius Record and Cory Smith. I think Julius might be the fastest man in the AzFL and he has sweet moves once he gets the ball and Kory is a huge target and all the Cowboy receivers block well. Now don’t get me wrong the Stampede have a great set of receivers in Jared Schmiege and Aaron Gentry. You better have two good corners to cover these two. Edge-Cowboys
O-Line- It is no secret that the Stampede line has had a few bumps in the road the last few games but they had a great game against a nasty Hitmen team. This is a good group and they are learning to play to their strength. If I had to start a team and I could pick any players that I want I would first pick me (stop it Jack) them I would take without hesitation the Molina brothers Aaron and David. Now I know the Punisher have a great line up and down it put these guys are the best. Edge-Cowboys
Defenses for both teams have been consistent this year. The Cowboys are flat out nasty and the Stampede is always moving forward. Neither give up ground and they are fast everywhere. The Cowboys might have the best D-lineman in the league in Arjay Ratliff. He is big, strong and scary. On the other side they had Mr. Watson himself. He is a crafty vet (that means he will do ANYTHING to get by you). The Stampede has a great pair of their own in Chaca Rojo and Chris Delguidice. Edge –Cowboys
Linebackers-The Stampede have sacrificed size for speed and it has worked for them. This well help them in the passing game but it could be a disadvantage for them. The Cowboys are loaded starting in the middle with Miles Posz. He is very good. Next to him is a guy I have played against for years and we have bumped heads a ton so I know what he can do and he is great and that is Ryan Salazar. Edge-Cowboys
Secondary-Speed, speed and more speed is that both teams bring. But the great equalizer is the tall man in the middle Larry Cain. It is like trying to throw over a light post. Edge-Cowboys
Special Teams-For the Stampede they have a good leg in Mr. Schmiege. The Cowboys have the veteran of veterans Steve Fish. He has been here before and knows what it is all about. Edge-Cowboys
Prediction: Now I know you are saying to yourself that I have picked the Cowboys in most categories and that is true. Stampede don’t get me wrong if you won this game I would not be surprised at all. You have a great team and even though I didn’t get the St. Paddy’s day card I will not hold that against you. This is not going to be a blow out. The main factor here is size and experience. True the Cowboys have not been here before but they have lost more playoff games then you have been in. I think that is will be a great and exiting game but when you have 6’1” Receivers running with 5’ 10” Corners the edge goes to the Receiver. But the big difference it upfront. The Cowboys O-line can reach the second level with power and you do have an undersized Linebacker core. I think the Cowboys don’t need to throw all game they will be able to control the line of scrimmage and run between the Tackles. On defense the Cowboys are bigger and faster and unless the Stampede can make the line adjustments on the fly, The Magic Man might be disappearing under a sea of blue jerseys (I heard you sigh Jack it was funny). I think the Cowboys will not under estimate the Stampede and they will come out fired up and ready. They have been waiting for 3 years now and they finally made it here and I don’t think they will let this opportunity side by. Cowboys 24 Stampede 17
Well gang that is what I think. Remember to listen to the radio show during and after the game on KXXT 1010 AM for all your post game interviews and comments of the big game. Also as you heard it last week Sean Enna was given permission by his lovely wife to play in this year North/South Classic. I have it on tape so we will see if he is wreaking havoc on May 10th. Have a great week and I will see you all at the game. Much Love, Pat
Week Thirteen Semi Finals - Saturday, April 12th 2008
Then there were four???
Ok I must admit that I was very surprised to find out from my super
secret hide out in Maryland that not only that the Predators still have a hard
time in the playoffs but that the road to the championship is not running
through Peoria. Someone needs to
call ADOT (Arizona Department of Transportation) and tell them to stop slinging
tar and asphalt in
# 1 Cowboys vs. # 5
Gladiators 4:00 T-Bird HS
I had left the Gladiators for dead and for that, I apologize. This is a veteran team with a ton of playoff games under their belts and I did forget that Predators have a worse playoff record then I have an All Star game record. Now, however it is time for a little dose of reality and if the G-men cannot get their offence going they are not only going to lose this game but it will be bad. Coach LaBarbera might get the title of Magic Man away from Gene; because that was a huge rabbit, he pulled out of his hat last weekend.
Prediction:
The Cowboys are going to win.
It is that simple and easy. They
match up man for man upfront at every position.
They have an offence that can get it done all over the field and with the
Gladiators best cover corner playing quarterback; I do not think they can hang.
However, there is one factor here that can be a wild card.
Respect!!! Will the Cowboys
realize that it is earned and just worry about football or will they keep
beating their chest demanding it and have the same fate as the Punisher,
golfing??? Cowboys 35 Gladiators 14
# 2 Stampede vs. # 6
Hitmen 6:30 T-Bird HS
I have to admit that Stampede look very unbeatable right now.
They went into last weeks game knowing they were going to be the better
team and that they will win the game but they didn’t underestimate there
opponent and blasted the Cavaliers like they should have.
When you are a top team you really don’t have to worry about making the
adjustment to the other team they must adjust to you and it looks like that
Cavaliers didn’t make the correct adjustment because that was not pretty.
Now however, the Stampede has a new challenge and this Hitmen team is not
the Cavaliers. I said it on the
radio show last week that a team is lucky if they have one great player to go
to, but the Stampede has three. Gene
is one of the best quarterbacks ever in the AzFL and when he has Gentry and
Schmiege to get the ball to you will put up a ton of points.
I have said it before and I will say it again that Jay is the best coach in the land and was robbed last year for Coach of the Year. The good news is I still get a vote and guess whom I voted for this year??? “The envelope please. This years vote goes to (drum roll), JACK (thunderous applause)!!!” We all know that if it were not for the Grand Puba Jay would only be a good coach instead of the coaching machine that he has become. Congratulations Jack from all of us at the Standing Pat office. Anyway the men from Antarctica found away to stop the roadwork in its tracks. Being solid on defense and having a balanced offense is a good problem to have and the Hitmen are infected bad.
Prediction:
It looks like the Hitmen are back on track and they have gotten healthy
in a hurry and at a great time because they need all the guys this week.
Last week they gave up size and overcame that but now, they have a
different problem and that is speed.
The Hitmen have some but the Stampede has the rest of it.
If the Hitmen can get to Gene and not allow him to find his guys down
field they will win. However, the
Stampede is playing some great football right now and they have all the tools to
go all the way. Stampede 21 Hitmen
17
Remember during the game and after from 8-10 PM tune to
1010 AM to listen to the post game talk from the day’s games featuring the best
color man in radio Sean Enna. He has
a great radio voice doesn’t he? In
fact I have an email form a Sean fan that I can share with you all, the email
reads, “Dear Standing Pat, I listen to your radio show every Saturday and love
all of it. However, I really enjoy
listening to Sean Enna. He is great
and has fantastic hair. Is there a
chance that I can have a date with him?
Please let me know. Love,
Much love to all, Pat
Week Twelve - Saturday, April 5th 2008
Good afternoon and welcome to Week # 1 of the payoffs (applause)!!! To the Dragons, Head Hunters and the Desert Demons it sucks to be you, oh wait I am one of them dang!!! Oh well I guess it will be nice to see how the other half lives, NOT!!! Anyway it is an exciting time of the year and I think it is going to be a very exciting playoffs. But before we get to the games I have a little unfinished business like, Demons, dudes what are you thinking, you picked the wrong time to play bad. I don’t get it, you all but controlled you own destiny because we knew the Cavaliers and the Raiders were not going to win and poof you blow it. Well maybe next year Demons, maybe next year. Oh and Head Hunters you need to find a team in your own country to make your rivals!!! All you did by punking the Demons was create a rival and hurt your draft positioning. Way to kill another teams dream!!! Dragons it has been a hard road but a good one, if I had to lose every game with someone I am glad it was with you guys. Now let’s not make this a habit ok??? Maybe mix in at the very least a win in an inter-squad scrimmage game or something??? Sounds like a long recruiting season for a few. Ok with that said lets get on with the games…
# 1 Chandler Cowboys
vs. # 8 Phoenix Raiders 9:00 T-Bird HS
“Beep,beep,beep,beep”!!! That is the sound things make when they back up or in this case into something and that is what the Raiders did, back into the playoffs. Now email terrorist; back away form the email you know I am right and if I could not make the playoffs I am glad it was you guys!!! See kids, this is a team that has not won a ton of games and last year hit rock bottom. Now they have put together a nice base of players and with the good ownership they have can enjoy their one playoff game.
Prediction:
Remember madness is a dark and unpredictable mind set lending itself to
destruction, either for or against.
Earning respect at the level of the Cowboys is the fuel driving this out of
control train. This is not going to
be pretty. I really think the
Cowboys feel they are not feeling the love that they earned this year and they
maybe correct. Just how much love
they are not feeling will translate into the score.
Cowboys 48 Raiders 7 (I don’t think they
are feeling it).
# 4 Tempe Predators
vs. # 5 Scottsdale Gladiators 11:30 T-Bird
Gladiators, dude how is it going??? I hope very well. I heard the wind down there was whipping like crazy!!! Sucks to be you guys but listen I have been all over this team all year and like James said Monday night they have lost to the top 4 teams and they have beaten everyone else. I wish this team would pull it off but I don’t see how they could. I will say it was a very nice win last week and they needed it. Now what they need to do is have the best week of practice they can and then need to have some trust in their system. I don’t think they have a ton of faith and it hurts them.
Prediction: I want the Gladiators to win because like everyone knows I played with most of them back in the day and I would love to wear my G-man tee shirt but I never got it (James). The bottom line here is the Predators are the best Middle Class team and with all of their guys sprung from that prison in Mexico they should be able to do what they want. Predators 24 Gladiators 14
# 2 S. W. Stampede vs.
# 7 Sierra Vista Cavaliers 2:00 T-Bird
First off, let’s say that I am friends with Craig and Gene and I respect
everything they have done over the last two years and it would be my pleasure to
play for them and the Stampede organization.
With that said, Stampede you guys are in very serious trouble.
Here is the way I see it and follow me here, you guys run the same
offence as the Raiders and I know you practice twice a week and you defense has
to play against that type of offence in practice.
With that said you have twice the talent and speed and the Raiders and
you guys let them stay in a game that you needed to make a statement.
All I have heard form Punisher guys and Cowboys are how you have lost a little and it looks like you have. You need to be the team that puts up 300 yards passing against EVERYONE not 250 or so yards on the ground. Now that was a nice adjustment but as far as I can tell it was the ONLY adjustment you have made all year. Here I will help you guys with this one because it is nothing but love!!! Your O-line will not be able to block the Punishers D-line next week Big on Big. You must put a zone blocking scheme in because you need to get the Magic Man some time. Now I walk the walk and talk the talk for a large cash fee I will come out to the Stampede practice and implement this for you. It is the least I can do. Think about it Stampede you need to do something and one more thing now is not the time to think about the Punishers next week, they will be there waiting for you.
Eric I must say it was a lot of fun watching your team play this year. They are a gritty bunch and play every snap as it is was their last. Now I need to make a shout out # 32 Tristan Menefee. Now I have been known from time to time to give out a nickname or 400 and he is getting two. The first one is “Mr.” because I have nothing but respect for him. The second is “Nightmare”, because that is what he is to opposing linemen. The Cavaliers make the playoff year in and year out and that is a testament to the ownership. The bad thing is they always seem to get the # 1 or # 2 seed ever year but at least they are there.
Prediction: The Stampede are going to win this game but they need to work some stuff out because next week they have to put it together against the Punishers if they want another shot at the Cowboys. Remember Stampede your work of the week is “Zone Blocking”. Ok it is two words but who is counting? Stampede 48 Cavaliers 10
# 3 Peoria Punishers
vs. # 6 Flagstaff Hitmen 4:30 T-Bird
Well so far the road running through Peoria to the Championship has have a
few bumps and twist and turns but it is still running, and running, and running!
See the reference here Punishers.
I was on your sideline and it occurred to me that you might have one of
the best O-lines I have ever seen.
This group can push a pile like plowing a corn field with napalm (a number of
flammable
liquids used in
warfare, often jellied
gasoline).
So here I am watching this unfold and then for some reason you started
throwing the ball. Now if you count
interceptions as completions then you did great.
This team reminds me of a team that did the same thing.
They had the best O-line in the AzFL with a NFL quality Running back
(Sean Thomas) and they wanted to throw every down and it cost them the
Championship. Anyone know what team
I am talking about??? Ask Travis,
me, Dave, Mr. Austin, Mr. Autry actually most of the Gladiators played on this
team. If you guessed the 2004
Villains you would be correct. So
stick with what you know. I you have
this over whelming feeling to put the ball in the air.
DON’T!!! STOP!!! Set that passing playbook on the ground and walk back
very slow with no sudden movements!!!
Hitmen way to keep the Bye Week under 300!!! I hear that the time off will get some of your skill guys back on the field just in time. That is very good because you are going to need them in this game. Jay is once again my Coach of the Year. He should have been last year also but I only get 1 vote even though the Republican Party considers me a Super Delegate (no Jack not because of my size but I see you working). This team needs to be well balanced and mix it up if they are going to have a chance. They do everything well but they need to do everything great this week and I think they have the right coach to make that happen.
Prediction: I was very impressed with the Punishers last weekend. The lines on both sides of the ball dominated and they didn’t have the whole team there. Don’t get me wrong the Hitmen should have won in week 1 against them but this is like week 47 or something. I usually would go with control (Hitmen) vs. chaos (Punishers) but the Punishers really impressed me last weekend and I think they are peaking at the correct time. Punishers 24 Hitmen 14
There you have it all that is worth the read. Girls this is your last chance for the date with Sky (he is a hippie). Take care boys and girls I look forward to see all of you this week at the games.
Love to all, Pat
Week Eleven - Saturday, March 29th 2008
We are here after 10 weeks the end of the season is upon
us. That is great news to most and
bad for some (Dragons, Head Hunters and 1 mystery team to be named later).
Now we get to see some great games that really count because every game
this week has a playoff implication.
Last week had some great games if you didn’t get to see them.
The Gladiators manned up and showed they might be ready for a playoff run
while the Head Hunters tank ran short.
Now I know it was 28-6 but you got your monies worth in the
Raiders/Dragons game because you got two games for the price of one.
Raiders ripped off 28 points in the first quarter or so then the Dragons
woke up and stone cold stopped the Raiders and even put a score of their own up.
I even heard the Hitmen were leading the Cowboys last into the 4th
quarter up in
Predators are carpet bagging (Republicans in the South who had allegedly arrived with all of their worldly possessions stuffed into a carpetbag, ready to loot and plunder the defeated South) big time. They have lied in the weeds and week after week quietly knocked off team after team and they might be playing the best football of anyone right now. Very dangerous they are right now and they could do very well in the playoffs.
Prediction:
I like the size of the Punishers but there are a couple of things that
concern me. First off, do they have
a starting QB yet or is the revolving QB door still open, remember dudes I can
hand the ball off all game if you need me to!!!
Second they have not won a game that mattered yet.
They lost to the Cowboys and the Stampede when they needed wins.
In fact going back to last year they didn’t win a game that mattered
either. However with all that said I
am going to go with them. They are
still a very hard team to play and they make you adjust to them.
Punishers 14 Predators 10
Raiders vs. Stampede
11:30 T-Bird HS
The Stampede is hard to write about because they do the same thing every game. “Geneo drops back has Schmiege open down the sidelines, he caught it, TTTTTOOOOOUUUUCCCHHHHH DDDDOOOOWWWNNN STAMPEDE”!!!
Prediction: The Stampede are playing for
the # 1 seed and they won’t know if they Cowboys have lost because they play the
last game of the day so the Stampede need to win.
Sorry Raiders but you guys are going to be the Head Hunters biggest fans
this weekend!!!
Stampede 35 Raiders 14
Cowboys vs. Dragons
2:00 T-Bird
Ok I got the R2-D2 robot for Christmas from my brother and it is very cool. So do you remember that part in Episode IV (A New Hope) when Obi Wan and Luke are chillin' at Kenobi’s crib and Luke starts to tell Obi Wan about that message he found but he couldn’t get the tin can to play the whole message??? Well it was a plea for help, I have put a message in my R2 unit and sent it over to my friend and yours Peacock because he is the Dragons only hope. “Help us Eric Peacock you are our only hope”!!! The only way the Dragons win is if Peacock comes out to play this weekend, so if you see him tell him he needs to play. My logic is simple, every time Peacock and I are on the field together we have beaten the Cowboys, every time there is only one of us it is a loss. So Peacockabbacca get your tail out to the game so we can beat those Darth Cowboys.
Prediction:
The Dragons match up with the Cowboys D-line and until the Dragons get
tired they will match up against the Cowboys O-line.
After that it will not be pretty but I am going to call my shot and say
the Dragons put up some points on the Cowboys.
Cowboys 42 Dragons 7
Cavaliers vs.
Gladiators 12:00 at North Mexico
Ok I have been very hard on the Gladiators over the last few weeks and to be honest I have been right on with my assessments, they have played lackluster football and have not looked good at all. That was until 9:00 last Saturday morning. Now I am not ready to jump the bandwagon yet but I had a great conversation with Benny # 7 and Tavares # 4 (both of them are great players and class guys) and they had that look like things are turning around and I think they have.
Prediction:
Cavaliers are at home so that is an automatic win, I do not think so.
If the Gladiators get most of their team down
Desert Demons vs.
Head Hunters 2:30 at North Mexico
Hunters, dudes what happened last weekend??? I finally pick you to win a game and you play yourself right out of playoff contention. I don’t get it but your team will be better next year so don’t worry everything will be fine.
Prediction:
After shooting themselves in the playoff foot last week I am not inclined
to take the Head Hunters here. I
think the Demons know what they need to do and they should be able to get past a
demoralized Head Hunters team. Demons 27
Head Hunters 14
There it is boys and girls everything you need to know. I would like to congratulate all the playoff teams and that includes the Cavaliers and the Demons (sorry Raiders), and let the Raiders, Head Hunters and Dragons know that the recruiting season starts the following Sunday, don’t mess it up.
Now on to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”, I don’t understand what the problem is. I offered to pay and go on the date with that one lucky girl and still no love for my man!!! I guess I am going to have to get desperate so here it is, if a girl between the age of 18 and catatonic goes out with my man Skylight not only will you get your date paid for by me, Standing Pat you can double with me and my wife Standing Sonja but I will throw in also a separate date with the one and only, Peacockabacca!!! Now, now, easy girls I know a date with the Crazy Wookie himself, “ Pecockabacca (applause)”!!! That is right I have arranged a date for a special lady with Peacockabacca. This is once in a life time event so don’t miss out get to the booth today. Just a reminder the time to get your Banquet stubs and your place in the North/South Classic is running out, go to the website for all the information.
Have a great week and I will see you at the games! Much love to all!!! Pat
Week Ten - Saturday, March 22nd 2008
Boys and girls welcome to Week # 10 in the AzFL.
I hope that you are having a good week and that you had a great and safe
Saint Paddy’s day. I know I did, I
stayed at home all day looking at my computer waiting all day and half the
night, waiting, hoping for hours that I would be oh so lucky enough to have my
email graced with that very special Saint Patrick’s day card from the one, the
only, Mr. Valentine himself, Craig Brown.
But for some strange reason I didn’t not receive my card on Monday so I
guess either it didn’t make it to me or I am off the card list.
I hope it is the former. Well
last weekend was very interesting, other then the Cowboys v G-Men contest, every
game in Phoenix was settled in the last 2 or 3 minutes of the game.
And down in
Head Hunters vs.
Gladiators 9:00 T-Bird
What can you say about the Hunters now?
Fischer Football is making a complete turnaround or is he?
I think that maybe Mr. Fischer is smarter then we think!!!
See what if his strategy was to rest his starters all year so they would
be fresh for the playoffs? Very
diabolical of him isn’t it? Not a
bad way to go and it is working.
This team has turned it around and looks good doing it.
Ok, Gladiators don’t get to down on yourselves in losing to the Cowboys by 30. You were not going to win the game and you are still in the playoffs. Now the problem is you are slipping fast and right now are looking at a game with the Punishers if the season would end today!
Prediction:
Hunters are looking real good and the Gladiators are not.
Right now the Hunters are 1 point out of a playoff birth and could find
themselves in a good spot if they win their last two.
I think they are rolling at the right time and that is not good news for
the G-men. They have lost it and I
don’t think they will find it anytime soon.
Head Hunters 17 Gladiators 10
Dragon Flies vs.
Raiders 11:30 T-Bird
AJ
Seneca
Aaron
James
Jeremy
Travis
Dave
Frankie
Juan
Steve
The great thing was # 71 James Bond getting his first TD of the year. What a great game it was to play in.
Ok Raiders let me help you out here. There are 48 minutes in a football game in the AzFL. Now I know you have on all the gear and you are hot and tired and sweaty and so on but if you have a 2 TD lead with 2 minutes left in the GAME you need to close it out. Now I didn’t get to see the game but dudes let me put it to you this way. You are in the number 9 spot right now and next week you lose to the Stampede and you lose the tie breaker to the Cavaliers so that leaves 1 spot left for you. It doesn’t look good!
Prediction:
The Raiders are going to win this game flat out!!!
They have a great passing game and the Flies don’t have a great pass
defense. The Flies will have the
toughest 11 dudes on the field (ask the Cavaliers) and will be hitting this
weekend. Raiders I think last week
killed you guys but you still have a chance to make it. Raiders 27 Flies 10
Stampede vs. Demons
2:00 PM T-Bird
Ok even if I didn’t get the card from Craig I still cant find any
fault in this team. They have had
some trouble keeping the Magic Man on his feet and they really need to fix that
by the time they get to the Championship game because the Cowboys are going to
be coming.
A Bye Week in week # 9 was just what the Demons needed. To have two weeks to prepare for the Stampede will ensure they only lose by 14. The Demons are holding onto the # 8 playoff spot like a mother hen and they know that in order to get blasted by the Cowboys in the first round they need to win one more game. I hope they realize this is not the game they need to focus on; but we will find out Saturday.
Prediction:
Both teams love to put the ball in the air.
The bad news for the Demons is the Stampede does it better.
The Demons will try to throw 100 passes to the TE but the Stampede is too
fast and this could go bad in a hurry.
Predators vs.
Cavaliers 4:30 T-Bird
What can I say? The game plan
worked. This is a lesson in
maximizing your effort. See kidos
you conserve your energy for 46 minutes and them you flip the switch and snatch
victory from the other team. What a
great game plan.
I must say that in my 14 years in the AzFL I have not seen a team with more class then the Cavaliers. They could have just flat out played dirty and worked the Flies but that is not at all what happened. I tell you what every time a Fly hit the ground after a play there was a Cavalier there to help pick him up, EVERY TIME!!! I really believe that the AzFL should have ALL the players in the league go to a seminar given by the Cavaliers on sportsmanship. Eric and Dee should be very proud of the character of their team.
Prediction:
The Predators are primed and read for the playoffs. They could find
themselves in a better seeding so I don’t think they are going to mail this game
in. I do think the Cavaliers have
done enough to make to the dance but they are just over matched in this game.
Predators 17 Cavaliers 7
Hitmen vs. Cowboys
at Some unknown time (2pm) in Antarctica
“This is my GAME of the WEEK”
The latest Hunters victim is this very same Hitmen team.
They are still very dangerous and playing at home will give them a better
player turnout but ever since they lost their starting Running back it has been
down hill.
Well it looks like the messing around in
Prediction:
I think this is the time of the year that teams start to
make statements.
Like the Cowboys.
They are not going to limp into the playoff, they want
the whole world to see that they are the best team.
They also need to win their last two games or they will
fall to # 2 thanks to the Demons!
Cowboys 31 Hitmen 14
There it is gang, all you need to know about this weeks games. Just some fun facts before we go:
Two weeks after the Championship game is the North/South Classic (sorry South I am on your side again).
“Skyrockets in flight afternoon delight”, still has not gotten a date. But remember girls now if you are the first to go up to him not only will I pay for your date but you will get the chance to double date with Mr. and Mrs. Standing Pat. Yes some girls dreams will come true, a double date with the Standing Pat family. Remember be the first to the booth and ask for Skychef and all of this shall be yours.
Have a great week and I will see you at the games.
Much love, Pat
Week Nine - Saturday, March 15th 2008
There has been a disturbance in the Force. Yes my friends the unthinkable has happened. No it was not the Stampede figuring out a way to win in the snow. Nor was it the Demons talking the Cowboys into overtime, it was the Head Hunters (official name change even though Fisher said don’t) waxing the Flies. Dudes it was bad but there was some good out of it at least for me. I found out that I am almost as fast as Roach!!! Dude I almost had you bro maybe next time mix in a second gear or something because my fat tail (family column) should not be that close to you. Oh and # 95 sorry about the head butt dude I didn’t mean to do it (well not as hard as I did). Yes the Hunters are back and have a strangle hold on the # 10 spot. Now I wasn’t going to mention it but; follow me here so you are the Punishers and you lose your stating QB (he is one of the best ever in the league in my opinion) and you skate by the Raiders, so then you play the Cavaliers and you decide that you really wanted a third guy to play QB so you get your new starting QB to leave the game and then you drop 40 on the Cavaliers. That is a very unconventional game plan but it worked. Ok so we have a ton of stuff happening so let’s get on to the games…
I have yet to see the film, but I don't think you were CLOSE to getting me. It
seemed like you were way deep in my backfield though and you really messed up my
boot left. I had been working on it all week (in business casual attire mind you
- since i dont dress out anymore) and then you got in my way and probably ruined
what was going to be my favorite play of all time - a left-handed bootleg pass
to my brother for a touchdown. Oh well, I have lots of other fun memories from
that game including:
(1) my penalty for offsides on a kickoff (a lifetime first)
(2) my roughing the passer penalty (by the way, way to protect your boy haha) (a
lifetime first)
Oh and you had to be happy for us getting IRISH - Ronan Kelly into the end zone
on that two-point conversion/fake extra point. He should be interviewed for the
radio station
about it.
Stampede vs.
Punishers 9:00 AM at T-Bird
“Ok so here is the situation, my parents went away on a
week’s vacation and they left the keys to the brand new Porsche”!!!
Dudes I am so Old School!!!
No there is a new development in the AzFL, we have a new # 1 and it is the
Punishers (Applause)!!! Yes with
that can they opened on the Cavaliers and the Cowboys complete and total
meltdown (we will get to that in a second) the Punishers have reclaimed the top
spot. Here is the way it went when I
was on the sideline of the Punishers getting ready to be blasted by the Falcons
(at the time you were still the Falcons so stop typing and back away from that
email, terrorist).
0:03
0:02
0:01
BANG!!!
Fred sprints towards me, I didn’t know if he was going to deliver my Saint Patrick’s Day card from Craig or not but this is what was said:
Fred: “I did the math on the way over and we will be # 1 correct”???
Standing Pat: “Fred, I saw you standing next to Armando Salazar talking and he did the math”!!!
Fred: “Whatever”!!!
Standing Pat: “Yes Fred the Punishers are the new # 1’s”!!!
Fred: “Thank you Standing Pat for everything and I love your hair it always looks great”!!!
Dude thanks for the complement I will let my hairdresser know you like her work.
Prediction:
Punishers are still very big and very dangerous.
I do however still think they need some work in the secondary.
They are getting better and that will help them down the stretch but Gene
has like 5,000,000 yards passing this year and this weekend shouldn’t much
different. I will say this though
the big difference between these two teams is speed.
The Stampede has it and the Punishers don’t.
Watch out for # 32 Taylor Walden, he will have a monster game but if the
Stampede can slow him down they will win.
Stampede 21 Punishers 14
Gladiators vs.
Cowboys 11:30 AM at T-Bird
Ok this is going to take some time and you are not going to enjoy it Cowboys but I must be true to the column and the readers and calling like I see it. I talked with Dustin and Warren after the game and told them what I was going to say and they said I was right and I needed to do what I needed to do so here it is. I remember 2 years ago when you played my team the first game of the year and beat us. That was a great game to play in and you guys played great. The reason you won the game was because you played as a single unit and worked hard and respected not only my team but the game itself. Then last year in the first game of the year you played my team again and you played hard and we got very lucky to win that game and I think that is where the wheels came off this team. Here is why I am bringing up the past. On those teams I played on we were fat, and slow and old but we played as a team and had each others backs. That is why we won those Championships. None of us were going to the next level so we didn’t worry about that and just had fun. You guys have way too many individuals on your team and it is killing you. Dudes now I am mad, you should have POUNDED the Demons and while I am at it you should have KILLED the Punishers but you didn’t. Dang dudes you guys are a great TEAM, as individuals you are mediocre at best. I have played against most of you and trust me none of you are going up** except maybe Dustin because he can flat out coach. Try this for the rest of the year and I guarantee you get a ring, do what Dustin tells you to, here is and example:
Dustin: “Go out there and hit someone”!!!
Player: “Yes coach”!!!
See that wasn’t hard so what I want all you Cowboys to do is look in the mirror and repeat after me 100 times:
“Yes Coach”!!!
Now I could sit here and blast you guys for another hour but I still have to play against you so just win the ring will you I have a ton of money on you and I need a new boat!!! ** Editor extends Apologies to Corey Brown a Cowboys player that is now with the AF2 (up) Central Valley Coyotes of the Arena 2 Professional Football League and to the five Cowboys being considered for pro or college teams as this column runs.
Prediction:
The Gladiators are done, sorry dudes I love all of you but I just don’t
see that fire anymore in your eyes.
Plus after this week’s practice I would take the Cowboys over ASU because if I
know Dustin at all he is going to make a statement with his team at practice and
with the rest of the league on Saturday.
For some reason “Don’t poke the Lion” seams to be an understatement this
week. Cowboys 35 Gladiators 0
Hitmen you must have played a great game to only lose by 4 to the Stampede. I know you have a nice team and you were at home but with the loss of your starting RB and having Jack wanting to kick field goals 73 yards out makes you even that more impressive. Keep plugging dudes a second round loss is in the cards for you, good job!!!
Prediction:
Yes the Hitmen have to leave the land of
ice and snow and they are a little dinged up and yes the Head Hunters played
their best game last week of the year I still must remember that the Hunters are
1 win away form being Falcons. Both
teams have some size but the Hitmen have more numbers and are faster.
I don’t think the Hunters will be able to chew up yards on the edge this
week like they did last week. Hitmen 24
Head Hunters 7
Predators vs.
Raiders 4:30 at T-Bird
Ok so the Raiders are going along with their two wins maybe they make the playoff and maybe they don’t. Whatever right??? Wrong??? See if you have a chance to pick up a great player (Tony Garza) you wine him, dine him and do what you need to do to get a quality guy like him in. That is what Vince did and because of that I will call my shot right now and say that the Raiders might find themselves losing to the Cowboys in the Championship game this year. They have been on the verge all year of exploding and watch this weekend because clack, clack boom it is on for the Black and Silver.
Prediction: This is
easy. They Predators will do the
opposite of last week. Raiders 31 Predators 17
Cavaliers vs. Dragon
Flies 12:00 PM at North Mexico
Well I am a little flustered with the Flies because they should not be getting HAMMERED by the Head Hunters. This is a team that is losing control fast during their games and they need to fix it in a hurry. There are too many vets on this team for it to be this bad. Now having guys going both ways is never good and it is killing them. I can tell you that I am spend at half time and so are the rest of the heavies.
Prediction: The
Cavaliers are hurting for dudes and even though they are at home they still
might only have 20 in uniform. The
Flies do travel well and play good away from Phoenix.
Sean, dude I just had a killer thought!!!
Move the team out of Phoenix!!!
We could be the Douglas Dragons or something!!!
Then we might win!!! I think
I am going to take the Flies this week.
The Cavaliers looked very drained last week and they got beaten up pretty
good. I know they are at home and
they play very well there but here is my thought process.
The Flies have a problem once they are down by 3 scores and they don’t
have they offense to come from behind.
The Cavaliers are not a high powered scoring machine and play the same
game as the Flies. So with that
being a wash and how well the Flies travel I got to go with the size and
experience. Make sure the nachos are
hot and spicy because Standing Pat is comin' to town (yes Jack I know I am as
fat as Santa but you are closer in age to him, HO, HO, HO)!!! Flies 14 Cavaliers
13
There it is all the words I could fit on 7 pages. Just an update on my quest to get a date for Skylight, it is not going good. I don’t understand it, he has a car, a job, a place to live (parents house), friends, why can’t he get a date. I tell you what Skywriter I will pay for your date. Ladies because yes in fact Sky High is gainfully employed doesn’t mean he can afford to take you to a nice place so to sweeten the pot I will put up the cash for one lucky lady to go to a nice place (Applebee’s, try the nachos) and I will pay for the movie tickets and the popcorn. It is the least (very) I can do to hook a fine brother up with one of you nice ladies. The first girl to go to the both and tell “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” that you want the Standing Pat package will be the lucky girl that gets the date. Only rules to enter are you need to be over 18 years old and a girl. Just a helpful hint he gets there around 9:00 in the morning so get there early and please no fighting over him. Kids have a safe week and I will see you at the game.
Week Eight - Saturday, March 8th 2008
Hi DE Ho boys and girls and welcome to this week version of
Standing Pat (Applause)!!! Here is
an interesting stat for y’all. Did
you know that all the visiting teams won last week???
So if you are from Cave Creek,
Gladiators swatted the Flies 28-3 - Stampede preyed on the
Predators 28-6
Punishers raided and pillaged the men in black 14-6
Hitmen punched the Demons 14-0 - Cowboys lassoed the Cavaliers 24-6
See since I am on the radio (Saturdays 8-10pm on AM 1010 and AM 1280) I need to
work on my stupid analogies. We have
some great games this week and a double game of the week so let’s get on with
the games…
Gladiators (4-2
Ranked # 5) vs. Predators (3-3 Ranked # 6) 9 am at Thunderbird HS
It doesn’t matter what turmoil you have going on with your team because a
visit to Cave Creek will put you back on your winning ways.
It was not a very convincing win for the G-men however.
I think it was 0-0 at the end of the first.
Now on a good note the Gladiators O-line was lights out and moving the
pile most of the day. I am very down
on the Gladiators right now and I really don’t want to be but they are just not
playing good ball right now and need to win a couple of games to avoid losing in
the first round again.
Ok the melt down is almost complete.
Two weeks ago they should have lost to the Falcons and last week they had
the Stampede on the ropes but let them off the hook, yo!!!
Dudes you are still in a state of confusion either be great or suck.
Last week you were great for 3 ½ quarters and then WHAMOO the wheels came
flying off and it was bad. In-fact
it was so bad that it might dictate they rest of their season.
This is the most important game of the year for the Predators. They
really need to play a quality game here or they might as well sell their playoff
spot to the Flies (dudes I will give you $50.00 for it).
Prediction:
Gladiators played the Flies at the right time.
They really needed a win badly.
The Predators or still doing that Jekyll and Hyde thing at you got to
figure that with them going good one week and bad the next they are going to
lose either in the first round or the second no matter who they play.
Now with that logic going I am picking them to win this week. Predators
17 Gladiators 10
Cowboys (6-0 Ranked
# 1) vs. Demons (2-5 Ranked # 8) 11:30am at Thunderbird HS
Tucson Desert Demons, born January 2008 survived by their
loving wives, girlfriend, children and so on.
Even though their live was short they lived it to the fullest.
Services will be held at
Ok I am privy to some things that some of you are not and the Cowboys team emails are one of the things I receive. Here is the way it goes…
Good job this weekend we have a few things to iron out so
be at practice ready to run , oh and nothing other then total annihilation of
our opponent (Demons) will be expectable.
Prediction: The snack bar will be open for the entire game so in between the
Cowboys scores you will have time to get that bottle of water or a candy bar.
Demons you are in for a fun time just be happy that you get to play and
don’t take it personally. Cowboys 48 Demons 7
Punishers (6-1
Ranked # 2) vs. Cavaliers (2-4 Ranked # 7) 2:00pm at Thunderbird HS
Cavaliers nice game against the Cowboys.
You didn’t lose by 100 which I thought and I must give it up to your
effort. The good news is you guys
played very well even though you lost; the bad news is you are not playing in
the land of nachos. Prediction: Punishers
look very bad right now and they are primed to lose a game.
Will it be this weekend? I
don’t think so but a 9:00am game with the Stampede next week could be on the
line if they don’t get their crapola together in a hurry. Punishers 21 Cavaliers
10
Dragon Flies (0-6
Ranked # 11) vs. Falcons (0-6 Ranked # 10) 4:30pm at T-bird HS
Hitmen (5-2 Ranked #
3) vs. Stampede (%-1 Ranked # 4) 2:00pm at Peaks View Park
So there are times when teams look past other teams and
don’t have a good game because they know the next week they have a stud team.
Is that the case with the Stampede or is it something more?
Only time will tell but they were losing last week ALL GAME until the
end. This is not a cake walk in the
least. The big questions the boys in
orange need to ask is what happened to their O-line last week.
It was very average and Gene paid the price and yes boys and girls he is
a good durable QB but he can’t take the pounding he did last week every week.
Prediction: I would love to take
Antarctica here but the absence of their # 1 back will be the difference here.
The Hitmen have a stiff defense so they will remain in the game but now
the inside running game is gone and the Stampede are very fast off the edge.
Stampede 21 Hitmen 14
There it is all that is the AzFL.
Don’t forget to listen Saturday night from 8-10 on AM 1010 or AM 1280
so you can get all your AzFL updates and sports from around the world.
We might even talk Soccer, ok we won’t but you never know.
Much love to all, Pat (Mr. Valentine Talk Abouter Person!)
Week Seven - Saturday, March 1st 2008
PAT will be on the AIR this Friday on 1010 AM 3-4 PM, tune in and get ticked off all over again! Hello kids how are you??? Great I hope, well it was a very interesting weekend in the AzFL. As it turns out by the amount of phone calls on the radio show (Saturday’s 8-10 AM 1010 KXXT) you either don’t stay up late or you didn’t have the phone number. So if you have something to say then call up and say it, the way you do that is to click on the 2Bad4U Email at the top of this page and send us your Rant, we will contact you and set up the call, if you are one of the lucky ones. Ok so we did see a ton of great football last week starting with that epic tilt in the Dragon Flies/Demons game. It was great to play in a and back and forth and hard hitting on the field and off game.
I heard that the Hitmen placed extra snow on the filed this
weekend in slow down the Raiders and it worked.
You got to love that home field advantage.
Oh and there was a little game of some importance under the lights.
Now I have to tell you I got this great email today from a member of the
Cowboys. As it turns out this
particular Cowboys loves my name changing thing and like I said I will change a
name if you ask and he did. He wants
me to change the Punishers to the
Dragon Flies vs.
Gladiators 9 am at Thunderbird HS
I said last week that they Gladiators look like a team that
is ready to unravel and they keep proving me correct.
The big question is who is going to be taking snaps this week.
# 10 out, # 13 I think he might be gone and #7 is a great football player
but had a tough week. This is still
a very dangerous team with a lights out defense and a great back in Byron Autry
(Strength and Honor) and a larger then life TE Dave Edwards. Not good times in
Prediction:
I told everyone from the coaches to the owners that I would have picked
the Flies to beat the G-men if they Flies won last week and I meant it.
But the Flies didn’t follow through.
I would love to take them but I am not stupid (I heard that Jack).
The point I am trying to make with the G-Men is they are not playing good
football and it shows. The control
is out the window so let the train wreck continue.
Predators vs.
Stampede 11:30 am at Thunderbird HS
So you lose a big game to the Cowboys and there you are at the cross roads of your football life, you can either go to the left and lose the rest of you games or you can go to the right and blast the next team you face. What do you think the Magic Man (Gene) and Valentine (Craig) (inside joke, listen to the radio show and you will be in on it) do? They HAMMERED the Gladiators. It was not even pleasant to watch. Kidos this is a real good team and if you remember they were beating the Cowboys late in the 4th. I can’t really say anything bad about this team except I can’t wait to see the Easter Card email I get from Craig. Hey Gene will that be the first Easter Card you get? I can’t wait!!!
Prediction: I was
really hoping this would be the Halloween Bowl and that both teams would wear
their orange uniforms but they Great Oz did not think that would be a good idea.
That is why he is the smart one (stop it Jack).
Predators you need to play the perfect game if you want to only lose by
14. Sorry dudes but a pumpkin is
still a pumpkin. Stampede 35 Predators 7
Ok before all the Punishers grab a ski mask and a take some dude hostage and force him to email me at gun point I promised Fred I would say something nice about you guys so here we go. At least you didn’t lose by 40!!! See, I keep my promises. No really; like I told Fred on Monday, dude I have never seen you guys play so fast ever. If you can play like that every week you might get your shovel back.
Prediction: Raiders
I feel for you and I must give you this disclaimer.
This next statement did not come from me it came from one of the
Punishers so don’t take it out on me and let me know if you figure out which
Punisher said this next statement, and I quote, “We are going to drop 100 points
on the Raiders”, end quote. I was
going to go with like 48 or something there you have it our first guest
prediction. Punishers 48 Raiders 10
Desert Demons vs.
Hitmen 12:00 pm in Way North Mexico
(Pima College Tucson)
Ok Hitmen are you ready for the new game that I heard you
guys created Saturday night? Here we
go:
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
“Brother”
Dudes that was great. For all you
other Hitmen that don’t have any idea what I am talking about go ask Jay dudes
it is funny. Don’t forget we will be ON
THE AIR again this Saturday from 8-10 on 1010 AM KXXT
so be ready!!!
Prediction: Well we
know that the Hitmen can win in the snow but can they win in sunny Mexico?
I think so. The Demons are
1398% better then they were 3 weeks ago but the Hitmen are a very well coached
and very well prepared team.
Cavaliers vs.
Cowboys 2:30 in Way North Mexico
(Pima College Tucson)Cavaliers we missed you last week.
How are the nachos at the Applebee’s???
I hope they are hot, fresh and crunchy.
Dudes I can’t wait until March 15 when I get to head to the Vista and
hook up the nachos and then hit the hot
Cowboys welcome back to the number 1 spot. What a great game that must have been to play in. I bet there are already 1000 pictures of The Shovel in a pink dress and high heels with makeup on and stuff floating around the internet. Make sure all you guys get a picture with it because if you play again you might give it back. I asked the question last week on the radio show and I will ask it again, first off I want to say that I think Dustin should be coaching on Sundays or at the very least Division 1 and don’t think for a minute he can’t coach, but I would not be doing my job if I didn’t ask the question: Why move away from what makes you so good? Granted you have a great QB and great Receivers but you have the best 1-2 punch in the back field in the league. Maybe Dustin figures this was not as an important game so don’t show much. Ok I even know that is bologna (family show). It worked and that is the important thing but will it work in the playoffs? Only time will tell and Dustin; call in this weekend on the radio show and give us some insight dude.
Prediction: As
Clubber Lang (Rocky movie anti-hero) would say, “I Predict Pain”!!!
I don’t think the Cowboy gave us that warm and fuzzy feeling last weekend
and they could have lost that game or at least it might have been a tie and that
is just weird!!! Cowboys 49
Cavaliers 0
Ok I don’t remember if I mentioned it but, “LISTEN TO THE
RADIO SHOW THIS SATURDAY ON AM 1010 FROM 8-10 AT NIGHT AND SIGN UP TO CALL
IT”!!! This was funny and I just
remembered but did you see Buick Skylark sporting that Diamondbacks tee shirt
last weekend. Dude what are you like
incognito or are you your own Dodger terrorist cell waiting to activate yourself
to help the Blue and White win the Western division so they can get hammered by
the Astros in the playoffs? I did
however get a request form RRRROOORRRRYYYY in the booth.
It seems that with all that Dodger loving going on Skyhawk doesn’t have
much time for the ladies and if you remember last year we helped Skylights booth
partner Sean get a Prom Date. I am
glad to report that Sean and his girlfriend are doing well and expecting their 4th
kid. So ladies we now need you to
come out in force and check young Skywalker out and call the radio show (AM 1010
Saturday 8-10 pm) and you can win a date with him.
Only two rules you need to be a girl and over 18 but you can be in your
90’s if you want. Have a great week
and I will see you at the games. Much love to
all!!! (nearly all)
Pat
Week Six - Saturday, February 23rd 2008
(Sound of multiple Trumpets) Introducing a name change in the AzFL!!! Yes kids we now have an official name change in the land of the AzFL. As promised (and we all know I keep my promises right Jack?) by the power vested in me by the Great Oz (Kevin) I now proclaim the Tumbleweed Town Desert Flowers the Way North Mexico Desert Demons (Thunderous applause)!!! Congrats to the Desert Demons on their very first victory of the year. It was a long time coming but we worth the wait. The great thing is that we still have 2 teams that don’t look like they will get their name back anytime soon. Now to answer a very good question asked of me by a member of the Falcons, NO!!! Ok so it was a very exciting week in the AzFL, ok I would not leave you hanging like that the question was if the Dragon Flies and the Falcons tie will that earn their name back? I would like to thank the Falcons for their question and keep writing. Well we found out that the Punishers have been watching tape on the Cowboys and figured out that making the other team turn the ball over is a really good strategy. The Stampede are really good but not good enough and that even with new pants the Falcons still can’t win. Enough with the pleasantries, on with the games…
Falcons (0-5) v
Predators (2-2) 11:30 am Thunderbird HS
Predators dudes, now for the new guys on your team let me
give you a little history with me and the Predators, I have been a little harsh
from time to time in my column and I have been criticized by your ownership and
some of the older Predators for not being on the bandwagon and picking you guys
to lose all the time. There is one
reason that I have been that way with your team and it is because of
consistency!!! Make up you minds
dude, either be good every week or suck every week either way I don’t care but
pick one, please. Like last week you
got worked by
Prediction: Sorry
Falcons no name change this week for you guys.
The Predators are too good and even though they seem to not want to go
deep in the playoffs they are still dangerous to a team with no wins. Predators
24 Falcons 10